Preconceived ideas

Most of us have preconceived ideas about what kind of person we want as a soulmate. This person must preferably be attractive, slim, financially independent, have little or no baggage etc. We sometimes forget that we are living in the real world and that people seldom live up to our idea of perfect. We also tend to forget that we also need to work on ourselves in order to fit in with someone else’s idea of perfect!

Some years back I had a client called Gerhard* who was very adamant that he did not want to meet an overweight woman. He was also very particular about what he was looking for. He had so many criteria for me to look out for that he almost ruled out every lady on my books! I introduced him to some of my members and he did not meet anyone he really liked until one day I took a chance and introduced him to Sheila, one of my prettiest ladies. Sheila has a vibrant personality and everyone loves her. I say I took a chance because, although she is not really overweight, she was not as slim as Gerhard originally would have liked. Well, Gerhard loved her (and still does). They got engaged six months later and married at the end of that year. She did not exactly fit his criteria, but the chemistry was there and the rest is history.

Then there was Jan*, who insisted on seeing a photo of each lady he met. (Photos are first impressions, but have you ever seen someone who looks exactly like their photo?) When I wanted to introduce him to Anne, one of my most attractive, eligible ladies, he did not like her photo and did not want to meet her. I worked very hard to convince him to meet her, only to have him say afterwards that her photo does not do her justice and that he thought she was wonderful! (I happened to think it was a very good photo, but everyone has differing perceptions).

Sometimes the person who bowls us over is nothing like what we expected him/her to be. When we walk around with blinkers on we are not open to receive the first prize. It’s good to know what we want, but it also pays to be flexible, as preconceived ideas can be a stumbling block when looking for our soulmate.

© 2010 Marilyn Welch

* Names have been changed.

Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Dating Service and a sought after Relationship Coach specialising in social skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details on the Contact Us / Register page.

Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!

Visit the Coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.

You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Managing Loneliness

Most of us at some time or other experience the ravages of loneliness. Loneliness can come in many forms: sometimes we are at our loneliest when surrounded by people whom we love and whom we know love us! How do we cope with this insidious state of mind?

Something I myself have always drawn comfort from is how incredibly blessed I am by what life has given me: my good health just for starters. How have you been blessed? Do you live in beautiful and comfortable surroundings? Are you financially independent? Do you have a career that stimulates and excites you? Do you have friends who form a wonderful support network for you? Most of us can find quite a few things to be thankful for if we just give it a bit of thought.

Then there is the question of a good self-image. If we think well of ourselves and respect ourselves, we are likely to be living a life of integrity. The chances are then that we have a healthy relationship with ourselves. A person like this probably has multiple hobbies and interests. Someone of this calibre will keep their friends’ secrets. Someone like this deserves to have some good friends in this life. Good friends can be an antidote for loneliness …

Whatever your situation and degree of loneliness, only you can work on the solution. Start with a few basic building blocks, some of which I have just mentioned.

© 2010 Marilyn Welch

Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Dating Service and a sought after Relationship Coach specialising in social skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details on the Contact Us / Register page.

Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!

Visit the Coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.

You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

I am back from holiday!

To everybody who was wondering if I had disappeared off the face of the earth, I would just like to let you know that I am now back from the first long holiday I have had since I established Perfect Strangers in Pretoria exactly 13 years ago in October 1997!

It has been an exciting journey, with many ups and downs. There were times when I almost gave up on my business. Today I can say with confidence that I am passionate about matching up soulmates and it is wonderful to be back at my desk.

Please give me a week or two to settle down, and then I promise I will write my normal weekly blog for those of you who enjoy reading it.

All the best until then

Marilyn Welch