Preconceived ideas

Most of us have preconceived ideas about what kind of person we want as a soulmate. This person must preferably be attractive, slim, financially independent, have little or no baggage etc. We sometimes forget that we are living in the real world and that people seldom live up to our idea of perfect. We also tend to forget that we also need to work on ourselves in order to fit in with someone else’s idea of perfect!

Some years back I had a client called Gerhard* who was very adamant that he did not want to meet an overweight woman. He was also very particular about what he was looking for. He had so many criteria for me to look out for that he almost ruled out every lady on my books! I introduced him to some of my members and he did not meet anyone he really liked until one day I took a chance and introduced him to Sheila, one of my prettiest ladies. Sheila has a vibrant personality and everyone loves her. I say I took a chance because, although she is not really overweight, she was not as slim as Gerhard originally would have liked. Well, Gerhard loved her (and still does). They got engaged six months later and married at the end of that year. She did not exactly fit his criteria, but the chemistry was there and the rest is history.

Then there was Jan*, who insisted on seeing a photo of each lady he met. (Photos are first impressions, but have you ever seen someone who looks exactly like their photo?) When I wanted to introduce him to Anne, one of my most attractive, eligible ladies, he did not like her photo and did not want to meet her. I worked very hard to convince him to meet her, only to have him say afterwards that her photo does not do her justice and that he thought she was wonderful! (I happened to think it was a very good photo, but everyone has differing perceptions).

Sometimes the person who bowls us over is nothing like what we expected him/her to be. When we walk around with blinkers on we are not open to receive the first prize. It’s good to know what we want, but it also pays to be flexible, as preconceived ideas can be a stumbling block when looking for our soulmate.

© 2010 Marilyn Welch

* Names have been changed.

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