Recognise your inherent greatness

Have you ever been in a relationship where you craved commitment from your partner, but he/she just simply didn’t seem able to give it? Many people are in this position, and below are my thoughts on such a situation:

When you have a partner, and you perceive (rightly or wrongly) that that person is in a stronger position than you (this can be real or imagined), you naturally want to align yourself with that person, so you yourself can become stronger. In your thoughts you have endowed this person with character and personality traits and capabilities that you admire and want to be associated with. You have more than likely idolized this person, and assume that they have something you do not have, i.e. you may perceive them as secure, and you assume that if you are married to them, you will also be secure.

Two things I’d like to mention here: You are most probably not aware of your own strengths and capabilities, and secondly, as I have said in a previous blog, if you spot it, you’ve got it!

It is important for the health of the relationship for each of the two partners to realize their own power in the relationship. So many of us think very little of ourselves and do not recognise our own inherent greatness. What you need to do is go within yourself in the seven areas of your life and look really hard for your strengths. The seven areas are:

Spiritual
Mental
Vocational
Financial
Familial
Social
Physical

The strength you perceive in your partner is very likely to be an unrecognised strength within your very own self. Look deep within yourself for the same strengths he/she has in the seven areas of your life. Your strengths will manifest differently to your partner’s strengths, so look at things from a different angle. Once you can draw your own strengths into the light, you will look at yourself in a different way, and start recognising your power. Firstly this will allow you to crave commitment from your partner far less, and he/she will perceive you as less clingy. Secondly, when you recognise and acknowledge your own power, your partner will perceive you as more desirable, and he/she will be far more likely to commit him/herself to you! So as you can see, this process is a double-edged sword and a good tool to use in all your relationships.

For more information on this process, read “The Heart of Love” by Dr John Demartini.

© 2009 Marilyn Welch

Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Dating Service and a sought after Relationship Coach specialising in social skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website and applying for it in the box on the left hand side under the navigation menu.

Also, visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!

You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.