Focus on your partner's good points

We all would like a partner who sees the best in us and believes we are well-intentioned. We want someone who turns a blind eye to our many faults and who loves us just as we are, warts and all. Because this is what we want, this is the kind of partner we must be ourselves.

The Law of Attraction states that we bring about what we focus on. So if we want a certain result, it is very important to control our thoughts concerning this matter. Most surely we want more of the good points of our partner and less of the ones we don’t like. And so we must focus on the things we like in him/her and ignore the things that bother us. Apart from the fact that we will then get more of what we want, we ourselves will be happier people because of our positive attitude, and so the spin-offs multiply and our relationship goes in an upward spiral of getting better and better.

When we know our partner thinks well of us and expects the best of us, we are always very eager to prove them right and not to let them down. This is just human nature. Give someone a good name and they will do their best to live up to it. What’s more, it is also very important to let them know how much we appreciate the wonderful things they are and do, as this also opens up better communication between the two of you. Your partner will enjoy your conversation and appreciate you in return.

I myself was once happily married to a man who was a smoker. I am not a smoker, and did not enjoy his smoking. I found when I focused on his smoking I made myself unhappy. When I concentrated on how wonderful a partner he was in other ways, I had a more balanced perspective, and rightly considered myself lucky to have him in my life. He passed away five years ago and I remember him only as an exceptionally good husband who made me a very happy woman. It was a small sacrifice to put up with his smoking, considering what I received in return. Now that he is gone I only have good memories, and the smoking is a complete non-issue. I am glad we parted on excellent terms, and not with me focussing on his smoking.

Don’t: Let little annoyances trip up your relationship.

Do: See the bigger picture of your relationship in a balanced perspective.

© 2010 Marilyn Welch

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You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.