The power of NOW in your relationship

The famous author Eckhart Tolle has written a very thought-provoking book called “The Power of Now”. Some of what he writes is very applicable to our relationships. We have a constant stream of thoughts in our minds, always based on something in the past or future, and we very seldom enjoy each moment as it arrives in our lives.

It would be wise to apply the principles in this book to our relationships. The present (now) is actually all we have. This very moment is complete and in it we have everything to make us happy. If we dwell on the past or are always dreaming of what may happen in the future, we are likely to make ourselves unhappy.

Tolle states that if we are unhappy with our situation, we can do one of three things: Walk away, change our circumstances or simply accept them as they are and decide to be content with them.

Some of us are fretting because we are not in a relationship, which is something we intensely desire. If this is the case, we should first and foremost accept what IS and make peace with it. Secondly, we can occupy our minds with good thoughts and find constructive things to keep ourselves busy. Best of all, if we find an interest we can be passionate about, this will do a lot to keep us busy and our minds will not be preoccupied with discontented thoughts.

If we are in a relationship that is not working out and we dislike our current circumstances, we can walk away or start changing things. A good place to start changing things is with our attitude. Are we anxious because we are focused on a result of some kind in our relationship? If so, we are focusing on the future and not on the now. Are we overreacting to something that is happening in our relationship because of something that happened in the past? Then we are dwelling on the past and also not living in the now. As you can see, both scenarios are a recipe for unhappiness. As I have said in many previous newsletters and blogs, have fun and enjoy your dating and don’t think that you need to see a result of some kind (like a marriage proposal) to make you happy.

If we drop thoughts of the past and the future and simply enjoy each moment as it arrives, we are much more likely to love life and be happy. We will have a lot more fun and life will be easier in general. Where do all these thoughts of the past and the future get us? Precisely nowhere, that’s where. Yes, it is important to plan for the future and also learn from our mistakes, but not at the expense of seldom enjoying what is happening in each moment, particularly when it comes to our relationships.

Don’t: Take your relationship or your present circumstances for granted.

Do: Savour and appreciate each moment as it arrives.

© 2009 Marilyn Welch

Would you still like to meet your soulmate this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “get-acquainted” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you!

Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Coach specialising in social skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.

You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.