Keep an open mind when meeting your dates

So often we go on a date with all sorts of expectations. We have a list of what we want and what we don't want and some of us are quite rigid in sticking to that list. But people are full of surprises and it is difficult to put them in boxes. We ourselves would like others to give us a chance when meeting us, so we need to afford them the same opportunity.

Some people are quick and easy to get to know and others take their time in allowing us close. I myself nearly missed an opportunity when I met my present partner. He did not show all his cards in the beginning and because of that I nearly overlooked him. Thank heavens I gave him a second chance, because as time went by I discovered more and more things about him that I really like, and today we are very happy.

And then there is chemistry ... If a spark ignites between two people, the "list" often flies out of the window and the most unlikely people can pair up and be blissfully happy. Here we need to keep an open mind in the sense that we must be on the lookout for the negatives in this case, as our feeling of being "in love" can lead us into big trouble!

So keep your eyes wide open whilst at the same time expecting the best of your date. Be flexible and enjoy each moment.

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Don't pressurise your partner into a relationship

So often I notice with the clients on my books that one of the people is really keen to have a relationship and he/she pushes and pressurises their dates to go into a relationship. This can be compared to pushing fruit ripe, and the results are similar. The fruit is not as sweet as sun-ripened fruit which has fallen off the tree, and the fruit may even have some bruises. Similarly, your relationship will not be the best it could have been. God is never in a hurry and it is best to let the universe gently unfold and let your relationship progress at an unhurried pace. I know this is difficult, because we all wanted everything yesterday, but if something is good it is worth waiting for, particularly in the field of relationships. So practise patience, and you will be well rewarded.

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Don't be anxious about your dating

Isn't it ironical that whenever we are anxious to have something, it just seems to run away from us all the time? In a similar vein, whenever we have felt ready to meet our soulmate, we are so impatient to do so, and we seem to find that despite how hard we try, our dating results in failure after failure.

I always tell my members to relax about dating and to just have fun. They should not be so keen to have results when they date, but just enjoy each moment for what it brings. I find that when they have this attitude, things somehow seem to fall into place, they enjoy themselves, and when the time is right, their soulmate just seems to fall into their lap!

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Men and Women Differ

Men and women differ in many ways, but two of the ways they differ are brought home to me very often:

Women are much more particular than men. Think of it. If you line up a whole lot of women against a wall and ask men to choose, they will find it very difficult, as they will like a lot of the women. Just line up a whole lot of men against a wall and ask women to choose, and they will only select one or two from the whole lot. This happens in nature as well.

Women commit to a relationship far quicker than men do. So often it happens that a man and a woman are dating on my database and one day the woman phones me and says she no longer wants to meet any more men because she and x are now seeing each other. Very often x phones me soon after to ask for another date!

It is a good thing that we are different - it makes life interesting!

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Love the person you find

We all find it easy to fall in love. It is such a euphoric experience. Everything seems to come naturally and we are swept away with our giddy feelings. Unfortunately this experience does not last. There comes a time when the things we once found so endearing in our partner now start to irritate us, and the person we once elevated falls from the platform we put them on.

We think we will gain happiness once more by finding someone else, or turning to a new hobby or worse, alcahol or drugs. Only to find that some time later, we are once again in the same boat, disillusioned and looking for something new.

Is it not better to learn to love the person you find? Love inevitably sends us someone who will remind us of our issues that we need to work through and there is no point in running away, as the next person we meet will invariably bring up those same issues. Better to work through these issues for once and for all and to have loved someone through thick and thin at the end of the day ... That someone that you once thought was such a problem may just turn out to be your soulmate and the partner of your dreams!

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Learn to enjoy your own company

We all dream of the day that we will have a special partner who will keep us company through thick and thin. We feel somehow that he or she will complete us, make us whole, and that we will never be lonely again.

That may be true, but before we start looking for that partner, it would be a very good idea if we could learn to enjoy our own company first. Once we have a good self-image, and a certain degree of self-confidence, it is then usually easier to amuse ourselves when we are alone. We have then (hopefully) developed some good interests and maybe we even have a few passions that we are fulfilling. This makes us interesting people, people with a mission, who will then easily draw the right partner to us via the law of attraction.

The law of attraction is like a magnet, so if we desire to have good company, we must be good company ourselves and know how to keep ourselves busy with worthwhile endeavours. Then we have earned the right to have a partner who is also good company.

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How does one handle rejection?

One of the most common things you will encounter when you are dating is rejection. The important thing with rejection is not to take it personally. The reason you are rejected has usually 100% to do with the other person and their particular frame of reference and almost NOTHING to do with you at all. There will always be people who like you just the way you are, and at the same time there will always be people who find fault with you. I see this happening with my clients all the time. As many as there are people, there will be different opinions about them. These opinions have nothing to do with you, it is just how people perceive you, according to their own unique place where they are coming from. You remain unchanged, whilst all around you, different people perceive you differently. Therefore one should not take other people’s opinions, whether good or bad, too seriously. So don’t be discouraged if you encounter rejection, simply move on to the next person to meet.

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