© A wise person once said: “If you are happy with who you are, you will be happy with your circumstances.” I would like to take that a step further and say that if you are happy with who you are, you will be happy in your relationships.
As a professional dating service owner, I often come across people who are unhappy and searching. They think that if they meet the “right” person, their troubles will stop and they will be happy. Unfortunately life does not work that way. The Law of Attraction is absolute and what you give out comes back to you. If you give out vibes of being unhappy with yourself, you will attract people who will magnify your problem and your dissatisfaction will spiral out of control.
We need to be emotionally whole before we start attracting the kind of circumstances and people who will add the best value to our lives. A good place to start is to recognise your strong points and good things in your life and be grateful for them. Once we start focusing on these things, we attract more of them into our lives and before long our lives will change for the better. Each of us has a unique role to play on this earth. Recognising your own greatness is just a start to playing the game of life and winning.
Visit my professional dating service website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for some practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
NB: Copyright subsists in this material. It is illegal to reproduce it in any way whatsoever without the express, written permission of Marilyn Welch.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
A good self-image promotes healthy relationships
Two weeks ago I bumped into Alison, a client I coached four years ago. At the time she was in a toxic relationship and was very unhappy. Together we had worked through a lot of her issues, but her primary problem was that she did not think well of herself and thus allowed people to treat her badly. She was struggling to find the strength to set proper boundaries with her boyfriend as she was scared she would lose him.
Catching up on her news I was very glad to hear that she had finally got rid of the old boyfriend and that she had had two relatively happy relationships since then and that she was now engaged to be married to a guy that “treats her like a queen”. She said it had been a gradual process, but that she now realises we allow others to treat us badly to the extent that we treat ourselves badly. Without being selfish or conceited in any way it is better for us and for all our friends if we have a healthy self-respect and good self-image. We will also never be happy with our circumstances until we are happy with ourselves. It is true that if we expect the best we will get the best. Expect and command the best treatment from all the people you meet, remembering that you need to treat them with respect and consideration as well. With this kind of attitude, your relationships are likely to go in an upward spiral and you will be a far happier person for it.
Visit my professional dating service website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for some practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
NB: Copyright subsists in this material. It is illegal to reproduce it in any way whatsoever without the express, written consent of Marilyn Welch.
Catching up on her news I was very glad to hear that she had finally got rid of the old boyfriend and that she had had two relatively happy relationships since then and that she was now engaged to be married to a guy that “treats her like a queen”. She said it had been a gradual process, but that she now realises we allow others to treat us badly to the extent that we treat ourselves badly. Without being selfish or conceited in any way it is better for us and for all our friends if we have a healthy self-respect and good self-image. We will also never be happy with our circumstances until we are happy with ourselves. It is true that if we expect the best we will get the best. Expect and command the best treatment from all the people you meet, remembering that you need to treat them with respect and consideration as well. With this kind of attitude, your relationships are likely to go in an upward spiral and you will be a far happier person for it.
Visit my professional dating service website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for some practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
NB: Copyright subsists in this material. It is illegal to reproduce it in any way whatsoever without the express, written consent of Marilyn Welch.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
A relationship must be in balance
Often clients who join my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, tell me that they like to “give their all” in a relationship, or that they like really “spoiling” their partner. Despite this dedicated approach, they have not yet managed to be in a successful relationship. Why is this?
Too often when we go into a relationship, we find that either we or our partner are giving too much. This is a recipe for failure, as a successful relationship is a balanced relationship, where there is equal giving and receiving.
When we give more than our partners, we like to think we want nothing in return, but actually deep down we want a return on our investment very badly, and in the long term we feel cheated if our giving has not been reciprocated.
Worse still, our partner may see our giving as a means whereby they are controlled, and they may feel obligated to return the favours in some way, which takes away from the freedom of a loving relationship.
Women especially tend to give more in a relationship. It is their natural instinct as nurturers and caregivers. This giving of their all often results in losing the man of their dreams, as men naturally like to be the hunters.
Similarly, a man who spoils his girlfriend or wife disproportionately may find that his favours are not appreciated and that she takes him for granted. The relationship is not in balance and love flies out the window.
This world is not perfect, but in this world everything is in perfect balance. If we want our relationship to be successful, we need to be vigilant about keeping it in good balance. Apply this principle of balance with the giving and receiving in your relationship. You will be in tune with the natural harmony of the universe and your relationship is more likely to go in an upward spiral.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website to find some practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
Too often when we go into a relationship, we find that either we or our partner are giving too much. This is a recipe for failure, as a successful relationship is a balanced relationship, where there is equal giving and receiving.
When we give more than our partners, we like to think we want nothing in return, but actually deep down we want a return on our investment very badly, and in the long term we feel cheated if our giving has not been reciprocated.
Worse still, our partner may see our giving as a means whereby they are controlled, and they may feel obligated to return the favours in some way, which takes away from the freedom of a loving relationship.
Women especially tend to give more in a relationship. It is their natural instinct as nurturers and caregivers. This giving of their all often results in losing the man of their dreams, as men naturally like to be the hunters.
Similarly, a man who spoils his girlfriend or wife disproportionately may find that his favours are not appreciated and that she takes him for granted. The relationship is not in balance and love flies out the window.
This world is not perfect, but in this world everything is in perfect balance. If we want our relationship to be successful, we need to be vigilant about keeping it in good balance. Apply this principle of balance with the giving and receiving in your relationship. You will be in tune with the natural harmony of the universe and your relationship is more likely to go in an upward spiral.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website to find some practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Appreciate your partner's energies
Running my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, has taught me many things. One of the things I have become increasingly aware of over the years is the significant difference in energies that men and women live out.
Women are the nurturers and caregivers, but they tend to become too serious and nit-picking. They can also be calculating. Their feelings are easily hurt.
Men are the hunters and providers. They live more in the moment. They have a more casual approach to life and tend to bring humour to a situation.
If we have too many people of the same sex in our lives, we tend to get a bit out of balance. That is one of the reasons why we enjoy dating and relationships so much. It provides something different to ourselves and thus makes our lives more interesting.
I remember when my husband, Bryan, passed away four years ago. I was left alone in my house with my old female dog, an old female cat and a young male cat, Gungie. I was feeling a bit like an old woman myself at the time, and I cannot tell you how refreshing it was to have Gungie in the house. I was so starved of living without the human male energy that Bryan used to provide, that I developed a strong appreciation for my little cat. I found his approach to life quite delightful, and very different to mine. This made me more aware of male energies in general, and what an important contribution our sexual energies are to our partners.
So be aware of the spiritual/sexual energies your partner brings to your relationship. Appreciate the differences between you and don’t wish that your partner could be more like you!
Visit my professional dating service website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for some practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
Women are the nurturers and caregivers, but they tend to become too serious and nit-picking. They can also be calculating. Their feelings are easily hurt.
Men are the hunters and providers. They live more in the moment. They have a more casual approach to life and tend to bring humour to a situation.
If we have too many people of the same sex in our lives, we tend to get a bit out of balance. That is one of the reasons why we enjoy dating and relationships so much. It provides something different to ourselves and thus makes our lives more interesting.
I remember when my husband, Bryan, passed away four years ago. I was left alone in my house with my old female dog, an old female cat and a young male cat, Gungie. I was feeling a bit like an old woman myself at the time, and I cannot tell you how refreshing it was to have Gungie in the house. I was so starved of living without the human male energy that Bryan used to provide, that I developed a strong appreciation for my little cat. I found his approach to life quite delightful, and very different to mine. This made me more aware of male energies in general, and what an important contribution our sexual energies are to our partners.
So be aware of the spiritual/sexual energies your partner brings to your relationship. Appreciate the differences between you and don’t wish that your partner could be more like you!
Visit my professional dating service website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for some practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Women want security whilst men like a challenge!
Running my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, certainly shows me that people have a wide variety of different motives for wanting a special romantic relationship. In general, women seem to think more of a committed long term relationship, whilst men seem to think more of having fun with their partners and enjoying what each moment brings. Neither approach is wrong. Men and women are just different, and maybe these differences are teaching us to love and appreciate the opposite sex!
I cannot stress enough the importance of living in the present moment and enjoying what each moment brings. If we are results oriented in our dating and relationships, we can very easily set ourselves up for disappointment. If our partner senses that we want something from them other than simply the pleasure of their company, we bring issues and complications into the relationship and this can really spoil a friendship that has the potential to be something special.
In relationships, women like security whilst men like a challenge. We as women all need to realise that our only true security lies within ourselves. Another human simply cannot cater for all our needs. We need to develop the independence to understand and apply this knowledge. I have seen in my practice that a woman who has this kind of mindset is automatically a challenge for her partner. By having this kind of outlook, a woman is more likely to have success in a long term relationship and thus meets her need of a long term commitment from her partner. This is most certainly an excellent way of setting up a spiral of a potentially good relationship which satisfies the needs of both parties.
Visit my professional dating service website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate.
Visit the coaching section of my website to find more practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
I cannot stress enough the importance of living in the present moment and enjoying what each moment brings. If we are results oriented in our dating and relationships, we can very easily set ourselves up for disappointment. If our partner senses that we want something from them other than simply the pleasure of their company, we bring issues and complications into the relationship and this can really spoil a friendship that has the potential to be something special.
In relationships, women like security whilst men like a challenge. We as women all need to realise that our only true security lies within ourselves. Another human simply cannot cater for all our needs. We need to develop the independence to understand and apply this knowledge. I have seen in my practice that a woman who has this kind of mindset is automatically a challenge for her partner. By having this kind of outlook, a woman is more likely to have success in a long term relationship and thus meets her need of a long term commitment from her partner. This is most certainly an excellent way of setting up a spiral of a potentially good relationship which satisfies the needs of both parties.
Visit my professional dating service website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate.
Visit the coaching section of my website to find more practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
Friday, March 26, 2010
We all like a challenge
When it comes to dating, we always seem to want the one we can’t quite get, the one who we are not sure of. The dates that run after us like puppy dogs all bore us to tears. It is just human nature to pursue something that is elusive. We must be careful and ensure that the person we are pursuing is really worth it, that we won’t end up like a dog that has caught a car and doesn’t know what to do with it!
In order to be a challenge, we must ensure that we are not desperate. If we come across as too eager, it can easily kill the attraction our partner feels for us. Women especially need to be on their guard against this as it is still true that a man likes to be the hunter, despite what modern life may lead us to believe. A man who is desperate simply comes across as a wimp, as most women want a strong man that they can look up to.
If we have a healthy self-liking and self-respect, we are at least half way there to being a challenge. We should all have a strong support network and lots of good hobbies and interests. These are the things that will help keep us emotionally independent and not desperate. We need to have our own independent and rewarding personal life outside of our work and careers, and outside of any romantic relationships. If we lead this kind of a life we are likely to be seen as desirable and someone worth pursuing.
Join my professional dating service to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for some practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
In order to be a challenge, we must ensure that we are not desperate. If we come across as too eager, it can easily kill the attraction our partner feels for us. Women especially need to be on their guard against this as it is still true that a man likes to be the hunter, despite what modern life may lead us to believe. A man who is desperate simply comes across as a wimp, as most women want a strong man that they can look up to.
If we have a healthy self-liking and self-respect, we are at least half way there to being a challenge. We should all have a strong support network and lots of good hobbies and interests. These are the things that will help keep us emotionally independent and not desperate. We need to have our own independent and rewarding personal life outside of our work and careers, and outside of any romantic relationships. If we lead this kind of a life we are likely to be seen as desirable and someone worth pursuing.
Join my professional dating service to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for some practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Love covers a multitude of sins
Love is what makes the world go round, and it is what we all crave, in one form or another. When we are young we get love from our parents and siblings. As we grow older we start making friends and we learn to love them. When we become teenagers we start having love relationships with the opposite sex, and these relationships are normally a challenge for the rest of our lives!
In any relationship, the more good we do our partner and the more love we shower on them, the more “cash” we are likely to have in their “emotional bank account”. (Steven Covey goes into detail about one’s emotional bank account in his book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”). If we have a lot of cash in someone’s emotional bank account and we only make occasional withdrawals (like sometimes treating them a bit unfairly), the bank account will remain relatively healthy. If we do something really dreadful to our partner, or treat them really badly, it amounts to a huge withdrawal, and the bank account may end up in the red! In a relationship, the trick is to maintain a healthy bank balance in both partners’ emotional bank accounts. In the Bible it states that love covers a multitude of sins. That is certainly true. If you know that your partner loves you and treats you well, you are likely to ignore minor things that he/she does wrong. This all adds up to a happy and healthy relationship.
Let my professional dating service put you in the running for having that wonderful romantic relationship!
Visit the coaching section of my website for some no-nonsense, practical dating and relationship advice.
In any relationship, the more good we do our partner and the more love we shower on them, the more “cash” we are likely to have in their “emotional bank account”. (Steven Covey goes into detail about one’s emotional bank account in his book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”). If we have a lot of cash in someone’s emotional bank account and we only make occasional withdrawals (like sometimes treating them a bit unfairly), the bank account will remain relatively healthy. If we do something really dreadful to our partner, or treat them really badly, it amounts to a huge withdrawal, and the bank account may end up in the red! In a relationship, the trick is to maintain a healthy bank balance in both partners’ emotional bank accounts. In the Bible it states that love covers a multitude of sins. That is certainly true. If you know that your partner loves you and treats you well, you are likely to ignore minor things that he/she does wrong. This all adds up to a happy and healthy relationship.
Let my professional dating service put you in the running for having that wonderful romantic relationship!
Visit the coaching section of my website for some no-nonsense, practical dating and relationship advice.
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