What are singles looking for appearance-wise?

What are singles looking for appearance-wise? Remember, you never get a second chance to make a first impression! Men are very visually oriented. They will usually make up their minds within twenty seconds whether they are interested in a woman or not. They actually admit that they look at things like personality later. And 99.9% of the men all say that they do not want to meet an overweight woman! Weight is a big issue for men. For them, sexual chemistry is either there or not there. They are not like women, and most of them do not believe in giving it time. Every now and then I get a phone call from one of my female clients to say that she had a wonderful first date with x, but cannot understand why he has not contacted her again. I can see that he obviously only liked her as a friend, and that the sexual chemistry was not there for him. In a case like this, the woman must realise that men are different, love them for it, and move on. She may well be mistaken if she thinks that with time he will develop sexual chemistry for her. In practice this seldom happens. “Elke pot het ‘n deksel”, and there are enough other people out there for you to meet someone who finds you appealing. Most women, on the other hand, will be happy to give a man a few chances. For instance, a woman may wait to see how a man behaves in different circumstances or how he treats her before she finally makes up her mind. She will often accept it if a man is bald or if he has a bit of a tummy. Of importance to a woman, is that a man is kind and that he makes her laugh. If he has good manners and treats her well, that is a distinct plus. If you want to meet someone nice, you yourself must be marketable. Start with your appearance. A man wants to meet a FEMININE woman. A surprising amount of men look at FEET! Two things that put women off are men with huge stomachs and men who drink too much. Now and then I interview a man with a big stomach who wants to meet a petite woman! And he doesn’t realise that a petite woman would not want to meet him! Your appearance can be likened to your gift-wrapping, or the frosting on the cake. It can make all the difference between someone stopping to take a closer look or simply passing you by. © 2008, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, one out of every three people who joined Perfect Strangers, met someone special! Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!

Relax whilst waiting for your dream partner

Today I want to focus on being relaxed about meeting your soulmate. So many times we are in a hurry and want it to have happened yesterday, but in practicality, this is not how life works. The universe is never in a hurry, and if we want to work with it, we would be wise to be patient. The universe unfolds, so they say, and that is a very gentle way of putting it. The universe is weaving an intricate tapestry of our lives intertwined with the lives of others, and its timing is exquisite. If you will just wait patiently, all the time working on yourself and knowing that the universe will deliver your soulmate to you, that person is sure to turn up at just the right time. Fruit is best when it is ripe and almost falling off the tree. If you try to push and rush something, it will not be of the best. Never be hasty. That is just the time when you might have poor judgement and make mistakes. Who of us has not burnt their fingers by being in a hurry? We all have tales to tell. Hasty people are bad shoppers! They don’t examine the goods thoroughly before they buy and often end up being dissatisfied with their purchases. Beware if your partner is in a hurry. What are their motives? Lust? Monetary greed? A ticking clock? If a person cannot even enjoy his/her own company, what kind of company will they be for you? These are all things to consider when approaching a relationship. Happiness is like a butterfly. When you pursue it, it is usually always just beyond your reach, but if you just relax, somehow, somewhere, it may alight upon your shoulder. It is just like this when you are seeking a soulmate. When you pursue a partner, they often flee. It is better to let a good romance and friendship develop slowly and sedately. We all at some time or other get caught up in a heady romance where things happen quickly, but how often does something like that last? “Elke pot het ‘n deksel”, the saying goes, and everything comes to he who waits. Have your dreams, but remember that patience and timing are crucial. Usually if we wait, what we want often lands in our lap, and then it is just perfect! © 2008, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, one out of every three people who joined Perfect Strangers, met someone special! Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!

How to end a relationship and learn from it

Some time ago, a young lady phoned me to say she wanted very much to join Perfect Strangers. Her fiancée had just left her for another woman and she was devastated, to say the least. I could hear how distraught she was and she kept saying “Marilyn, what must I do?” Immediately red lights started going off in my mind. This woman was not in any state to start another relationship. She was not even ready to start dating again. Of course, she could not see it. What must one do in such a situation? One must always try to end a relationship in such a manner, that you are still on good terms with the other party. This is not always possible, but it augurs well for the next relationship. Next, one must take stock of one’s situation, take a step back and withdraw temporarily from the dating scene. Now is the time to search your heart and see if there are any unresolved issues you can work on (anger, jealousy, resentment etc.). Now is also the time to realise that the relationship was not actually a failure, even though it ended. It is not a failure, because you learned something from it, even if all you learned is how to do it differently next time. THERE ARE NO FAILED RELATIONSHIPS. All relationships are learning processes. You had your good times and your bad times. You enjoyed the good times and learned to love, and you must make sure that the lessons of the bad times sink in and stand you in good stead in all future relationships in that you do not repeat them. Do NOT, on any account feel that YOU are a failure. You have learned a lesson, albeit a painful one, and therefore, you are actually a WINNER, and you will do better next time. If you date or become involved too soon after a relationship has ended, you will take all your unfinished business to the next relationship and just repeat your experience, albeit in a slightly different way. Take this time to enjoy your own company, treat yourself and strengthen ties with family and friends. With time you will feel stronger and more relaxed about dating again. © 2008, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, one out of every three people who joined Perfect Strangers, met someone special! Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!

How do I attract the soulmate of my dreams?

How do you get your dream partner to come looking for you? You most probably have all heard about Quantum Physics and the Law of Attraction. This law states that like attracts like, and so, like a magnet, you will draw to you people who have similarities to you. You may say, but I am not like the people around me, and I say to you look again. As they say, if you spot it, you’ve got it. Your personality trait may just appear in a different or disguised form, but I guarantee you, you are reflecting what you see! So how to attract what you really want? The answer is almost obvious. You must BE the type of person you want to attract. Your psyche is sending out a constant signal to the universe of who and what you are, and people are picking up that signal. Sooner or later, someone with a similar signal will pick up yours and be drawn to you like a magnet … Therefore, if you want to find a suitable partner, it will be worth your while to work on yourself. Develop the personality traits you desire most in a partner, in yourself. If you have unresolved issues, you will draw to you people who will force you to work on those issues. This explains why a woman who has an alcoholic father may marry one or two, if not more alcoholics in her lifetime. She vows and declares she will never become involved with an alcoholic again, but who is she most attracted to? You guessed it. This is nature’s way of ensuring that we as people are constantly evolving towards becoming the best we can be. Sometimes the lesson is not learned the first or second time, but you can be assured, the same situations will keep happening until you learn to deal with your issues and put them behind you. These situations are seen as patterns in our lives, and we should be vigilant and go for counselling if there is something we cannot resolve on our own. A good book to read, which relates to this theme is “Keeping The Love You Find” by Harville Hendrix. © 2008, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, one out of every three people who joined Perfect Strangers, met someone special! Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!

Flirting for your health

Flirting … the word conjures up images of something naughty but nice. We all love to flirt. It makes life fun and less dreary. It emphasises the differences between the sexes. It puts the sizzle in the steak! It makes us and the other person also feel good. To some it comes naturally, others somehow never get it quite right. But as long as there are men and women on this planet, flirting is here to stay … Flirting can be good for your health! There are also times when flirting can be unhealthy. Let me explain. We all like to have fun, right? As a rule of thumb, when we flirt for fun, and we do not have heavy agendas, this is generally healthy. When we have ego problems and want to “score” to soothe our damaged self-esteem, this is when flirting tends to be unhealthy. Innocent flirting can be a delightful way to attract the opposite sex. I suggest you make a habit of it. Flirt with people of ALL ages, not just the ones in your own age bracket. All this practice will make you an expert! This will ensure that it remains innocent and that you do not have agendas. An agenda will make your flirting heavy-handed and will rob it of its simplicity and charm. Even animals flirt. Did you know that? My cat charms the pants off all my friends and clients who come to visit me. He doesn’t care who they are. He is just his natural, affectionate self and everyone loves him! Why don’t you try some innocent flirting today? Make it a habit to be charming to everyone and you will see how naturally it comes to you. Word of caution: Don’t pick on obviously married people, don’t make trouble and very important: KEEP IT CLEAN!! Don’t have any other intention with it than to have fun. Your charm will be infectious and you will spread sunshine wherever you go. I dare you to flirt with someone today! © 2011, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, one out of every three people who joined Perfect Strangers, met someone special! Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!

Is your checklist getting too long?

We all have an idea of what we are looking for in a partner. Some of us know we’ll know instinctively when we meet this person, others have long lists of what they want. Which category do you fit into? Chemistry is something that rates highly with both men and women. It is this spark that is the glue that keeps a couple together. Chemistry is usually instantaneous, but it can certainly improve as time goes by. For those of us who have long lists, chemistry is something that occasionally makes us throw those lists out of the window! It is good to know what we want and don’t want when it comes to choosing our soulmate (or letting them choose us!). We should be aware of between two and five “must haves” and between two and five “can’t stands” at the most. We do, after all, know what makes us happy. The danger comes when our lists start getting too long. Sometimes we know exactly what we want down to the last ounce and will accept nothing else. This narrows down our choices considerably. Often this type of person does not even exist, and if they do, do we have any guarantees that they will like us? In our search for this elusive person we often discard very worthwhile candidates who will be excellent choices, but we are so set in our ideas that nobody else will do, no matter how wonderful they may be. It is always a good idea to keep a balance between knowing what we want and having an open mind. What could be nicer than meeting someone more unusual than our stereotypes we are hanging on to, and who opens up new and wonderful vistas that we never even dreamed of? Having set ideas can limit us and rob us of countless blessings. I dare you to be adventurous and let go of some of those preconceived ideas. I dare you further to enjoy the process and let dating and relationships be all the fun they can possibly be. We are the ones who will benefit if we just lighten up. © 2011, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, one out of every three people who joined Perfect Strangers, met someone special! Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!

Bright, shiny object syndrome

Life has changed a lot since the “good ol’ days”. For some of us this is 40 years ago, for others it is as little as 10 years ago. At any rate, life has become a lot more fast-paced, and glitzy lifestyles are now the order of the day. Whilst this has been marvellous in many ways, good old-fashioned values seem to have flown out of the window. We are constantly bombarded with glamorous images of airbrushed models, exotic destinations, and we are thoroughly spoiled with cellphones, laptops, and modern conveniences we simply take for granted. If a man sees a long-legged blonde with a short skirt standing next to a girl who has a plainer appearance, he automatically chooses the blonde. Never mind that she is moody, bitchy and materialistic. He may well have had a more suitable girlfriend in the girl who was not so flashy, but in his eyes, at that moment, she simply didn’t exist. Women are just as much to blame. If a man drives an expensive car, has a top position in the corporate world and is good-looking as well, women flock to get his attention. Never mind that he is selfish, demanding and emotionally not available. His quiet, less eye-catching colleague is discarded as irrelevant. When we are invited to a function, we tend to judge the venue according to how trendy and “exciting” it is. We often couldn’t care less about the people and how welcome they make us feel. We feel good that we can say we have been to this funky place. These days TV ads and programmes are geared to flash rapidly from one scene to the next to keep us interested. It seems that this is the only way to keep our attention. Anything slower or less bright loses our attention. Good judgement and discernment have been put to sleep. Instant gratification is the order of the day. We are simply not prepared to wait for anything, no matter how worthwhile. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what is called “bright, shiny object syndrome”. If we are in this mindset when choosing a partner, it spells disaster. Adhering to good old-fashioned values which are in tune with the natural order of the universe is what is going to ultimately make us happy. Take a step back and assess your own personal approach to life. Is it making you happy? If not, you may be a victim of this syndrome. Life was so much easier many years ago. The trick is to keep life as simple as you can. It is the small, uncomplicated details of life that determine our happiness. If you live in the present as much as you can and try to savour each moment, you will enjoy life so much more. Try not to be side-tracked by the many distractions life hurls at you. Your world will not come to an end if you skip the news for one day. Similarly, if you put your phone on silent, put your computer aside for a few hours and go outside and enjoy the sunshine, you will feel like a new person. Take pleasure in nature, animals and close friends and family. When you are on your deathbed, these are the memories that will give you peace and happiness, not how you chased after “bright, shiny objects”. © 2011, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, one out of every three people who joined Perfect Strangers, met someone special! Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!