Create space in your relationship

Today I am going to focus on creating space for each other in your relationship. I am reminded of when I was married to my second husband, Bryan, and how happy we were. He gave me all the space I could possibly have desired, and you know what? I just simply didn’t want to go anywhere! If he had cramped my space, you can be sure I would have found all sorts of things I wanted to get up to. And I afforded him the same space. He never abused his freedom, always told me where he was going and always phoned if he was going to be late. And I was happy to let him do as he pleased. It was such a free arrangement that we had. I would wish this for any relationship. Underlying the giving of space is an aura of trust. If one does not trust one’s partner, one is reluctant to give him/her the luxury of some space. Trust stems from a healthy self-respect and self-liking. You must trust yourself and have faith in your own integrity before you can trust someone else. With this attitude, you like to treat your partner the way you yourself want to be treated. You should offer your trust first, expecting it to be honoured. Only if this trust is broken do you need to reassess the situation. How do we behave when we know we are trusted? We put our best foot forward, not wanting to disappoint our partner. We want him/her to know that this is the way we want to be treated and that we deserve this trust. This kind of attitude inspires loyalty, which in turn creates greater trust, and so the spiral goes upward. And the more trust there is, the more space we are prepared to give our partner and the more freedom we both have. Needy, clingy people find it difficult to give their partners space. They need reassurance every step of the way and do not enjoy their own company. They tend to want to control their partner as they think this will make them feel more secure. What does this type of behaviour inspire in your partner? They want to get away from you and need even more space than what they normally would have wanted. The tight rein you try to harness them with just makes them want to rebel and so the spiral goes downward. It is important to be emotionally independent in order not to be needy. Your emotional wholeness will go a long way towards ensuring a happy partnership. Don’t: Hold on to your partner in an effort to make him/her stay with you. Do: Give your partner the freedom they deserve. They will love you for it and always want to return to you. © 2009, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, 49% of the clients who joined Perfect Strangers met someone special, many within a very few short months! Of these, 71% remain in their committed relationships. Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate.