Create variety in your relationship

We all long for a partner who is interesting, and who surprises and delights us often, but have we ever thought about our own role in creating variety in our relationship? It’s all too easy to start off a relationship, where everything is new and we are on a voyage of discovery. We are getting to know our partner and find everything he or she says or does to be fascinating. Come six months down the line and we could be falling into the trap of a set routine, always doing the same things and finding our once tantalizing partner to suddenly be boring and predictable! How do we maintain the romance and excitement? (We wanted this to be forever, remember?) The secret is to cultivate good habits right from when the relationship starts. It is even more important for a woman to be unpredictable, as this is often one of the factors that keeps a man interested in her. (A woman can think differently, as she tends to find security in predictability, and security is often one of the most important values that she has.) Part of the secret of being unpredictable and creating variety is to keep our partner guessing just a little bit. There is a fine balance between a mature sharing of your innermost self and “not letting it all hang out”. We all want a mixture of familiarity and that element of surprise. Part of all this is self-respect, where we find it easy to act with poise. We even find ourselves exciting as we discover new things on life’s journey. Make a point of doing things that are out of your normal routine from time to time. And the things that you normally do … well, if you like to do them, try to do them differently now and then, just to spice things up a bit. Find novel ways of showing your respect and appreciation, and just now and then, if you have something else important and worthwhile to do, be unavailable. Bring fun and mischief into some of the things you do. There is nothing like laughter to add to good memories. Remember the law of attraction? It works like a magnet. So if you want your relationship to be interesting, make sure you yourself are an interesting person. This involves creating variety and adventure in your relationship. Your partner is likely to mirror your behaviour and your relationship will tend to be exciting. Don’t: Fall into the trap of having too set a routine in your relationship. Do: Cultivate the habit of surprising your partner from time to time. © 2009, 2014 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, 49% of the clients who joined Perfect Strangers met someone special, many within a very few short months! Of these, 71% remain in their committed relationships. Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate.