Don't be materialistic

We all want a partner who loves us just for who we are, as well as for who we are not. None of us wants to perceive that our partner wants us for any kind of ulterior motive. We like to think that we are receiving at least as much as we are giving in our relationship. That makes us want to give more and more, and so our relationship goes in an upward spiral of giving and receiving, which is healthy. Do we ever examine our motives when we start dating someone we like a lot? Often when we are dating we weed out those people who are needy, who seem to want something from us and who are on the take. That is why it is healthy to date many people before marriage, so that you can recognise who the people are who relate to you in healthy ways. Once you are in a committed relationship, it is also wise to remain vigilant in keeping the balance of give and take between you and your partner. Oftentimes a man is materialistic in a relationship when he is in it for the sex. He is vitally interested in satisfying himself and can leave his partner feeling unfulfilled. What is that man bringing to the relationship? Is he making it worthwhile for his partner? Maybe he thinks he can buy her love/sex, but that will ultimately leave her feeling empty and used. If, on the other hand, he is bringing in a healthy amount of loving and genuine happiness to the relationship, his partner will just want to give him more and more and will appreciate him hugely. Women can be materialistic in expecting men to be the providers. In today’s society, where women are often the bigger earners, this is becoming more and more unrealistic. Yes, a man likes to provide, but never likes to feel that he is being used, or that a woman likes him just because he has money. He likes to feel admired, respected and loved for who he is as a person, and not only for the money he brings to the table. Everything is becoming more and more expensive as time goes by, and if a woman also earns good money, she should be willing to share some of it and not let her man bear the burden of all the expenses, unless, of course, he really doesn’t need or want any help in this arena. The Law of Attraction also fits into this picture. What you constantly think about, you will ultimately bring into your life. Do you want to have a mountain of money when you are old, and no love and happiness to go with it, or do you want a healthy balance of a happy family, friends and good memories? On your deathbed, are you going to want to look at your bank balance, or are you going to want to look into the face of someone you have genuinely loved and been happy with? If we are in a relationship just for what we can get out of it, the universe may very well punish us by giving us what we want! Later we will see that genuine, time honoured values have made us happier than our materialistic desires have. Don’t: Always think of what you can get out of a relationship. Do: Appreciate your partner for who they are as a person. © 2010, 2014 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, 49% of the clients who joined Perfect Strangers met someone special, many within a very few short months! Of these, 71% remain in their committed relationships. Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate.