When a relationship is new, it is all too easy to see only the good in one’s partner. One sees him/her through rose-tinted spectacles and we are very excited about having this person in our life.
As time goes by, however, the spectacles come off and we see this person in a more realistic perspective, warts and all. If you really care for him/her, it is very important to focus on your partner’s good points and not the bad ones. If your relationship is generally a happy one, what you focus on, you’ll get more of and if you turn a blind eye to the bad points, they will tend to fade away. If there is something you cannot tolerate, deal with it and move on, but if you dwell on it, it will only get worse.
We make ourselves unhappy by thinking about negative things, so not only is it good for our relationship to be positive, it is also good for us personally. Treat a person as if they are wonderful, and they will tend to live up to your expectations.
Visit my website to find out more about my professional dating service and to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for some no-nonsense, practical dating and relationship advice.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
We all appreciate a consistent partner
Running my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, has taught me a lot about what people want in a romantic partner.
One of the qualities my clients seem to appreciate most in a partner is someone who is reliable, consistent and congruent. We like to know that this person will usually answer our call, and if they can’t, they will come back to us if we leave a message. We like to know that if we make an arrangement with them, they will honour it, or let us know in time if there is a problem. We like to know that if we have a problem, we can phone this person and they will always be friendly and kind, unless there is really something terrible bothering them, and then they will explain why they are not their usual self. We also like to know that, consistent with their normal behaviour, they will try to help us with this problem, if at all possible. It is important to not only want and expect this kind of behaviour from our date or partner, but to also behave this way ourselves.
Ah, you say, but I like someone who surprises me, who is not predictable. Yes, this is nice too, but within limits. There is a fine balance between being interesting in this way and being downright unreliable and making people feel uneasy around you. Keep all this in mind when entering a new relationship. By following this dating and relationship advice you will show that you can be a good friend, which is a sound basis for any romance.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website to find some practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
One of the qualities my clients seem to appreciate most in a partner is someone who is reliable, consistent and congruent. We like to know that this person will usually answer our call, and if they can’t, they will come back to us if we leave a message. We like to know that if we make an arrangement with them, they will honour it, or let us know in time if there is a problem. We like to know that if we have a problem, we can phone this person and they will always be friendly and kind, unless there is really something terrible bothering them, and then they will explain why they are not their usual self. We also like to know that, consistent with their normal behaviour, they will try to help us with this problem, if at all possible. It is important to not only want and expect this kind of behaviour from our date or partner, but to also behave this way ourselves.
Ah, you say, but I like someone who surprises me, who is not predictable. Yes, this is nice too, but within limits. There is a fine balance between being interesting in this way and being downright unreliable and making people feel uneasy around you. Keep all this in mind when entering a new relationship. By following this dating and relationship advice you will show that you can be a good friend, which is a sound basis for any romance.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website to find some practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Don't have unrealistic expectations
With my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, I sometimes find that my clients have unrealistic expectations. They come to me having had problematic relationships in the past, expecting that everything will be just plain sailing once they join my service.
Life is just not like that, and the people who join my service are real and not the type of people you may read about in romanitc fantasies. My joining criteria are strict to ensure that only the best people are admitted, but we are all in the same boat, doing our best and trying to make sense of this crazy but wonderful life. We all have our own unique problems and set of circumstances to deal with, and sometimes this can cause friction between us and our romantic partners.
Whilst it is true that we should always expect the best, we need to be flexible and allow for our partner's idiosyncrasies. We should remember that we ourselves are also not perfect. We should all know what we are looking for in our ideal partner whilst at the same time keeping our feet planted firmly on the ground.
Having said that, I would urge you to visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
You can also visit the coaching section of my website for some practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
Life is just not like that, and the people who join my service are real and not the type of people you may read about in romanitc fantasies. My joining criteria are strict to ensure that only the best people are admitted, but we are all in the same boat, doing our best and trying to make sense of this crazy but wonderful life. We all have our own unique problems and set of circumstances to deal with, and sometimes this can cause friction between us and our romantic partners.
Whilst it is true that we should always expect the best, we need to be flexible and allow for our partner's idiosyncrasies. We should remember that we ourselves are also not perfect. We should all know what we are looking for in our ideal partner whilst at the same time keeping our feet planted firmly on the ground.
Having said that, I would urge you to visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
You can also visit the coaching section of my website for some practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Be happy with your present circumstances
We seem to spend our entire lives searching and striving for what we perceive we do not have. These days we are bombarded with stimuli urging us to buy this, do that, etc. We are seldom encouraged to take stock of what we already have and learn to be content with it.
The same goes for our relationships. We always feel there is something missing or that maybe someone else will do it better for us. No. No. No. If we step back, count our blessings and take time to be sincerely grateful for what we have, the universe is more likely to give us more of those good things.
Perhaps now is the time to jump off that hamster wheel, break out and LIVE HAPPILY IN THE NOW. Quit thinking of yesterday or tomorrow, just be happy for what is happening now. Learn to appreciate your partner and enjoy his/her company NOW. Now is all we have. Live your relationship to the full so that you will never have regrets. Your partner will love you for it!
If you are single at the moment, structure your life in such a way that you thoroughly enjoy it. Learn to be happy with what you already have. This contentment is more likely to attract a good partner than an attitude of dissatisfaction. Remember that your mindset is constantly giving off signals to the universe and according to the Law of Attraction, you will attract what you think about most. Food for thought ...
Visit my website to make use of my professional dating service. Visit the coaching section of my website to find sound dating and relationship advice.
The same goes for our relationships. We always feel there is something missing or that maybe someone else will do it better for us. No. No. No. If we step back, count our blessings and take time to be sincerely grateful for what we have, the universe is more likely to give us more of those good things.
Perhaps now is the time to jump off that hamster wheel, break out and LIVE HAPPILY IN THE NOW. Quit thinking of yesterday or tomorrow, just be happy for what is happening now. Learn to appreciate your partner and enjoy his/her company NOW. Now is all we have. Live your relationship to the full so that you will never have regrets. Your partner will love you for it!
If you are single at the moment, structure your life in such a way that you thoroughly enjoy it. Learn to be happy with what you already have. This contentment is more likely to attract a good partner than an attitude of dissatisfaction. Remember that your mindset is constantly giving off signals to the universe and according to the Law of Attraction, you will attract what you think about most. Food for thought ...
Visit my website to make use of my professional dating service. Visit the coaching section of my website to find sound dating and relationship advice.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
You get what you focus on
A year ago I coached a client called Helen through her divorce. When I first spoke to her and assessed her situation, it was clear to me that she spent all her time and energy focusing on her impending divorce, and that the rest of her life was simply passing her by.
At the time she was bitterly unhappy and life had indeed turned sour. She had seen a psychologist and counsellors from her church, but there just seemed to be no solutions. She thought that if she started meeting some decent men, that that might help her to feel happier. So she turned to me for some dating and relationship advice, with a view to joining my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, when her divorce was through.
It was obvious to me that she needed to get past her problems and gain some inner peace before she could attract anybody remotely like what she had in mind. I asked her what good things there were in her life. Surprisingly enough she could quickly mention at least five positive things about her life (her good health, her well-paying career, her nice home, her children and the relationship she had with her parents). Somehow, amidst all her problems, she had forgotten these wonderful aspects of her life. I told her to take 30 minutes each day and to focus on being grateful for these things (What you focus on you get more of). During these 30 minutes she was to shut out all thoughts of her soon-to-be ex husband and their divorce situation. When we discussed this, she immediately perked up and had something to look forward to each day.
Her feedback a week later was that she now realised she had been giving a disproportionate amount of time and energy to her problems, and not enough time to the things that made her happy. She realised that she had been responsible for a lot of her own misery by doing this. As time went by, the intensity of her emotions about the divorce diminished, and she was also able to incorporate in her daily 30 minutes some pleasant dreams about the kind of men she would like to meet in the future.
It is now a year later and two months ago she joined my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers. Because her focus has dramatically shifted since a year ago, she is giving out a different vibe, attracting good things into her life, and she is a catch for any man. She is enjoying the experience of meeting new people and the men on my books like her immensely. By a simple change in her focus, she turned her life around!
Visit my website to meet a variety of qualify partners from whom you can choose a soulmate! Visit the coaching page of my website for some sound dating and relationship advice.
At the time she was bitterly unhappy and life had indeed turned sour. She had seen a psychologist and counsellors from her church, but there just seemed to be no solutions. She thought that if she started meeting some decent men, that that might help her to feel happier. So she turned to me for some dating and relationship advice, with a view to joining my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, when her divorce was through.
It was obvious to me that she needed to get past her problems and gain some inner peace before she could attract anybody remotely like what she had in mind. I asked her what good things there were in her life. Surprisingly enough she could quickly mention at least five positive things about her life (her good health, her well-paying career, her nice home, her children and the relationship she had with her parents). Somehow, amidst all her problems, she had forgotten these wonderful aspects of her life. I told her to take 30 minutes each day and to focus on being grateful for these things (What you focus on you get more of). During these 30 minutes she was to shut out all thoughts of her soon-to-be ex husband and their divorce situation. When we discussed this, she immediately perked up and had something to look forward to each day.
Her feedback a week later was that she now realised she had been giving a disproportionate amount of time and energy to her problems, and not enough time to the things that made her happy. She realised that she had been responsible for a lot of her own misery by doing this. As time went by, the intensity of her emotions about the divorce diminished, and she was also able to incorporate in her daily 30 minutes some pleasant dreams about the kind of men she would like to meet in the future.
It is now a year later and two months ago she joined my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers. Because her focus has dramatically shifted since a year ago, she is giving out a different vibe, attracting good things into her life, and she is a catch for any man. She is enjoying the experience of meeting new people and the men on my books like her immensely. By a simple change in her focus, she turned her life around!
Visit my website to meet a variety of qualify partners from whom you can choose a soulmate! Visit the coaching page of my website for some sound dating and relationship advice.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Gratitude gets you places
The story of Anne and Louise (told in greater detail in the last two blogs) is certainly food for thought. Anne had a positive, balanced perspective. Louise was negative and always finding fault. Anne took the trouble to thank me after each introduction I arranged for her, and gave constructive feedback, which assisted and inspired me to find even better suited partners for her as time went by. Louise was never satisfied, no matter how much trouble I went to for her.
Anne's approach to me always inspired me to do all I possibly could to introduce her to suitable parners. She expected the best from me and thoroughly enjoyed meeting my high profile, quality men. You always get more of what you are grateful for and the universe eventually rewarded Anne with the man of her dreams. They are now happily engaged and looking forward to a bright future together.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
If you have issues about successful dating and forming healthy romantic relationships, I am happy to discuss them with you until they are resolved.
Anne's approach to me always inspired me to do all I possibly could to introduce her to suitable parners. She expected the best from me and thoroughly enjoyed meeting my high profile, quality men. You always get more of what you are grateful for and the universe eventually rewarded Anne with the man of her dreams. They are now happily engaged and looking forward to a bright future together.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
If you have issues about successful dating and forming healthy romantic relationships, I am happy to discuss them with you until they are resolved.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
If you spot it you've got it!
In my last blog entry I told the story of my two clients, Anne and Louise. Anne simply loved the men I introduced to her and Louise could only find fault with them. Ironically, I introduced them to exactly the same men! So what was the problem? Were the men to blame or was Louise the problem?
It just so happens that we see people not as they are, but as we are. We notice things in others that we identify with, things that are part of our own makeup. If there are things in ourselves that we are not happy with, we notice them in others, and these qualities irritate us speechless. People reflect back to us the things we don't like in ourselves and we think that they are at fault and not us!
The universe arranges situations in such a way that we are constantly given opportunities to learn and grow as people. The people we find fault with are often our best teachers! They give us the opportunities to change for the better and transcend ourselves, if we so choose.
I have lost contact with Louise, but I know that Anne has now met the man of her dreams. They are happily engaged and excited about their future. When you see the best in life and people, the universe is eager to give you back what you deserve.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
It just so happens that we see people not as they are, but as we are. We notice things in others that we identify with, things that are part of our own makeup. If there are things in ourselves that we are not happy with, we notice them in others, and these qualities irritate us speechless. People reflect back to us the things we don't like in ourselves and we think that they are at fault and not us!
The universe arranges situations in such a way that we are constantly given opportunities to learn and grow as people. The people we find fault with are often our best teachers! They give us the opportunities to change for the better and transcend ourselves, if we so choose.
I have lost contact with Louise, but I know that Anne has now met the man of her dreams. They are happily engaged and excited about their future. When you see the best in life and people, the universe is eager to give you back what you deserve.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
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