It is vitally important for the success of any relationship for both partners to remain as financially and emotionally independent as possible. The less we need our partners for anything, the more we are able to enjoy each other’s company. If we are financially independent, we seek each other’s company for the pure fun and pleasure of being with that person, and we have no ulterior motives or second agendas in working on our relationship.
A problem often arises with women in that they become so involved with their partners as their relationship progresses, that they often lose their emotional independence. They can often forget that they have interests of their own as they take on their partner’s interests. They often give up arrangements they have made with their female friends in order to spend time with their boyfriends. They forget their own value and importance as time goes by and put their partners on pedestals. By doing all these things, they lose their emotional independence and are no longer the independent woman their partners knew when they first met. They thus become less attractive in their partner’s eyes and he starts to lose interest. This is a very subtle, insidious process, and deadly if a woman wants to keep her relationship healthy. As he loses attraction for her and starts pulling away, she starts to pursue him which makes him want to pull still further away. He then also starts acting differently and they both wonder where their wonderful romance went to. This is a terrible, negative spiral which can be avoided by women not slipping into the bad habits I mentioned earlier in this paragraph and retaining their emotional independence and wonderful life they had before they met their boyfriends.
A woman values a man who is emotionally independent of her and not clingy in any way. Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander!
Set time aside for the things that are important to you, and do them. Do not live in your partner’s pocket. Honour his/her need for space with vigilance.
Don’t: Cling to your partner, as this will just drive them away.
Do: Initiate the healthy relationship habits mentioned above, and maintain them.
© 2010 Marilyn Welch
Would you still like to meet your soulmate this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “get-acquainted” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you!
Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Coach specialising in social skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
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