Who are your role models?

When we date, we tend to fall into certain relationship habits, some good, some not so good. Even though we start out with the best of intentions, we often end up doing just what we said we would not do. Without meaning to, we often copy the examples our role models have taught us.

Be very careful of the role models you choose. Obviously we had no choice when it came to our parents. You may have come from a happy home, and then it may be good to follow your parents’ example. Not many of us were that fortunate, and we often have to guard against copying what our parents did.

Possibly the worst kinds of role models are to be found in the soap operas and in the media. It is easy to worship the material standards they represent, but in reality their romantic relationships and home lives are not necessarily the kind we would like to have for ourselves.

When it comes to healthy romantic relationships, we should choose role models who have stood the test of time. Perhaps you know of a couple who have been happily married for years. Ask them the secrets to having a happy relationship. These are the people to emulate and to ask advice. Let them lead you by their example. They will most probably tell you that a relationship can at times be hard work, but that they never gave up. Whichever way you look at it, there are no instant results. We need to start our relationships with good habits, keep them up and even improve on them as time goes by. The chances are we will reap the rewards for a very long time.

The bottom line is that we need to be very careful whom we choose as role models. The behaviour we copy can affect us and our relationships to the very end of our lives. Not only that, it can affect our children’s lives for a long time as well! So choose your role models well, and tread very carefully, because other people may be looking to you in turn as their example!

© 2010 Marilyn Welch

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