The grass is not always greener

Some time back I interviewed a man called Sam* who has been widowed for just over a year. In that time he has met someone (let’s call her Mary*) whom he thinks is very special. She is beautiful inside and out and fits in well with his family. So why was he visiting me? It just so happened that when he married his wife, he was very young and she had been his childhood sweetheart. They had been happily married all the years and had provided a stable home for their children. Mary was the first person he met after his wife passed away. Although he and Mary are very happy, he has the sneaking feeling that he has missed out on something and that there might just be someone better than Mary out there for him. Immediately red lights started going off in my mind. It is so seldom that one finds someone one is really and truly happy with, why upset the applecart? Dating can be a mining field and sometimes you really need to be tough to live the single life. It is very important to be content with our present circumstances. The wealthiest people are those who are happy with what they have. Hankering after “better” partners and “better” circumstances can often impoverish our spirits. If we look at the glass as if it is half-full (and not half empty), and appreciate what we have, we are likely to be blessed with even better circumstances as time marches on. I discussed all this with Sam and I could almost see the relief washing over him. It was obvious that he really loves Mary and that in his heart of hearts he does not want to meet other women. He had almost felt it was his duty to “check out” who’s available. In some cases this can be the right thing to do, but as far as I am concerned, I know what it means to be in a wonderful romantic relationship, and I would never purposely destroy this kind of happiness for anyone. Therefore I advised him not to join Perfect Strangers and to further his already stunning relationship with Mary. He thanked me profusely for my inputs and left my presence a far happier man. Sometimes we need to be reminded that the grass is not always greener on the other side. If for some reason it appears to be, there may be a very expensive price to pay for it! * Names have been changed. © 2011, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, one out of every three people who joined Perfect Strangers, met someone special! Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!