How do I attract the soulmate of my dreams?

How do you get your dream partner to come looking for you? You most probably have all heard about Quantum Physics and the Law of Attraction. This law states that like attracts like, and so, like a magnet, you will draw to you people who have similarities to you. You may say, but I am not like the people around me, and I say to you look again. As they say, if you spot it, you’ve got it. Your personality trait may just appear in a different or disguised form, but I guarantee you, you are reflecting what you see! So how to attract what you really want? The answer is almost obvious. You must BE the type of person you want to attract. Your psyche is sending out a constant signal to the universe of who and what you are, and people are picking up that signal. Sooner or later, someone with a similar signal will pick up yours and be drawn to you like a magnet … Therefore, if you want to find a suitable partner, it will be worth your while to work on yourself. Develop the personality traits you desire most in a partner, in yourself. If you have unresolved issues, you will draw to you people who will force you to work on those issues. This explains why a woman who has an alcoholic father may marry one or two, if not more alcoholics in her lifetime. She vows and declares she will never become involved with an alcoholic again, but who is she most attracted to? You guessed it. This is nature’s way of ensuring that we as people are constantly evolving towards becoming the best we can be. Sometimes the lesson is not learned the first or second time, but you can be assured, the same situations will keep happening until you learn to deal with your issues and put them behind you. These situations are seen as patterns in our lives, and we should be vigilant and go for counselling if there is something we cannot resolve on our own. A good book to read, which relates to this theme is “Keeping The Love You Find” by Harville Hendrix. © 2008, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, one out of every three people who joined Perfect Strangers, met someone special! Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!

Flirting for your health

Flirting … the word conjures up images of something naughty but nice. We all love to flirt. It makes life fun and less dreary. It emphasises the differences between the sexes. It puts the sizzle in the steak! It makes us and the other person also feel good. To some it comes naturally, others somehow never get it quite right. But as long as there are men and women on this planet, flirting is here to stay … Flirting can be good for your health! There are also times when flirting can be unhealthy. Let me explain. We all like to have fun, right? As a rule of thumb, when we flirt for fun, and we do not have heavy agendas, this is generally healthy. When we have ego problems and want to “score” to soothe our damaged self-esteem, this is when flirting tends to be unhealthy. Innocent flirting can be a delightful way to attract the opposite sex. I suggest you make a habit of it. Flirt with people of ALL ages, not just the ones in your own age bracket. All this practice will make you an expert! This will ensure that it remains innocent and that you do not have agendas. An agenda will make your flirting heavy-handed and will rob it of its simplicity and charm. Even animals flirt. Did you know that? My cat charms the pants off all my friends and clients who come to visit me. He doesn’t care who they are. He is just his natural, affectionate self and everyone loves him! Why don’t you try some innocent flirting today? Make it a habit to be charming to everyone and you will see how naturally it comes to you. Word of caution: Don’t pick on obviously married people, don’t make trouble and very important: KEEP IT CLEAN!! Don’t have any other intention with it than to have fun. Your charm will be infectious and you will spread sunshine wherever you go. I dare you to flirt with someone today! © 2011, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, one out of every three people who joined Perfect Strangers, met someone special! Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!

Is your checklist getting too long?

We all have an idea of what we are looking for in a partner. Some of us know we’ll know instinctively when we meet this person, others have long lists of what they want. Which category do you fit into? Chemistry is something that rates highly with both men and women. It is this spark that is the glue that keeps a couple together. Chemistry is usually instantaneous, but it can certainly improve as time goes by. For those of us who have long lists, chemistry is something that occasionally makes us throw those lists out of the window! It is good to know what we want and don’t want when it comes to choosing our soulmate (or letting them choose us!). We should be aware of between two and five “must haves” and between two and five “can’t stands” at the most. We do, after all, know what makes us happy. The danger comes when our lists start getting too long. Sometimes we know exactly what we want down to the last ounce and will accept nothing else. This narrows down our choices considerably. Often this type of person does not even exist, and if they do, do we have any guarantees that they will like us? In our search for this elusive person we often discard very worthwhile candidates who will be excellent choices, but we are so set in our ideas that nobody else will do, no matter how wonderful they may be. It is always a good idea to keep a balance between knowing what we want and having an open mind. What could be nicer than meeting someone more unusual than our stereotypes we are hanging on to, and who opens up new and wonderful vistas that we never even dreamed of? Having set ideas can limit us and rob us of countless blessings. I dare you to be adventurous and let go of some of those preconceived ideas. I dare you further to enjoy the process and let dating and relationships be all the fun they can possibly be. We are the ones who will benefit if we just lighten up. © 2011, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, one out of every three people who joined Perfect Strangers, met someone special! Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!

Bright, shiny object syndrome

Life has changed a lot since the “good ol’ days”. For some of us this is 40 years ago, for others it is as little as 10 years ago. At any rate, life has become a lot more fast-paced, and glitzy lifestyles are now the order of the day. Whilst this has been marvellous in many ways, good old-fashioned values seem to have flown out of the window. We are constantly bombarded with glamorous images of airbrushed models, exotic destinations, and we are thoroughly spoiled with cellphones, laptops, and modern conveniences we simply take for granted. If a man sees a long-legged blonde with a short skirt standing next to a girl who has a plainer appearance, he automatically chooses the blonde. Never mind that she is moody, bitchy and materialistic. He may well have had a more suitable girlfriend in the girl who was not so flashy, but in his eyes, at that moment, she simply didn’t exist. Women are just as much to blame. If a man drives an expensive car, has a top position in the corporate world and is good-looking as well, women flock to get his attention. Never mind that he is selfish, demanding and emotionally not available. His quiet, less eye-catching colleague is discarded as irrelevant. When we are invited to a function, we tend to judge the venue according to how trendy and “exciting” it is. We often couldn’t care less about the people and how welcome they make us feel. We feel good that we can say we have been to this funky place. These days TV ads and programmes are geared to flash rapidly from one scene to the next to keep us interested. It seems that this is the only way to keep our attention. Anything slower or less bright loses our attention. Good judgement and discernment have been put to sleep. Instant gratification is the order of the day. We are simply not prepared to wait for anything, no matter how worthwhile. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what is called “bright, shiny object syndrome”. If we are in this mindset when choosing a partner, it spells disaster. Adhering to good old-fashioned values which are in tune with the natural order of the universe is what is going to ultimately make us happy. Take a step back and assess your own personal approach to life. Is it making you happy? If not, you may be a victim of this syndrome. Life was so much easier many years ago. The trick is to keep life as simple as you can. It is the small, uncomplicated details of life that determine our happiness. If you live in the present as much as you can and try to savour each moment, you will enjoy life so much more. Try not to be side-tracked by the many distractions life hurls at you. Your world will not come to an end if you skip the news for one day. Similarly, if you put your phone on silent, put your computer aside for a few hours and go outside and enjoy the sunshine, you will feel like a new person. Take pleasure in nature, animals and close friends and family. When you are on your deathbed, these are the memories that will give you peace and happiness, not how you chased after “bright, shiny objects”. © 2011, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, one out of every three people who joined Perfect Strangers, met someone special! Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!

The value of waiting

We all want what we want immediately. These are the days of “quick fixes” and instant gratification. We are trained to find the fastest, easiest solution to all of our problems. We tend to “push fruit ripe” rather than wait for it to fall off the tree into our hand. Nowhere is this more true than in the field of romantic relationships. We are so hell-bent on finding someone special that we often don’t wait to really get to know our partners well before we tie the knot. We are bombarded with movies where people sleep together on the first night and good old-fashioned common sense seems to have flown out of the window. Sometimes in life, however, it pays to put aside the pushing and striving, and to just sit tight and wait. Wait for life to play itself out. Wait for your Creator to organise things. Wait for the fruit to ripen slowly and naturally. When we do this, we often find ourselves in a zone where what we want is slowly and steadily brought to our feet. Decisions are made by life itself and we find ourselves “in the flow”. We acquire great wisdom by holding back, and events and people reveal themselves like never before. Because we are not rushing into things, we have time to “smell the coffee”, get to know ourselves and others and, most importantly, we start enjoying the present moment. Next time you find yourself in a hurry to meet someone special or to push your partner into a commitment before he/she is ready, take a step backwards and think how much better the relationship will be if you let things develop slowly and naturally. Make it a habit in all of your endeavours to let life reveal itself to you first before you start pushing and manipulating things to go your way. You will use far less energy if you LET life and relationships happen rather than if you MAKE them happen. By doing this you respect the very important principle of giving your partner FREEDOM. We all want freedom ourselves, and it will come to us if we allow others to have it. There is value in waiting, despite what modern life is telling us. I challenge you to try it out for yourself! © 2011, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, one out of every three people who joined Perfect Strangers, met someone special! Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!

Instant Gratification

We live in the world of fast food and quick fixes. Nobody believes in waiting for anything anymore. We set goals and deadlines and are hell-bent on adhering to them. We are living in a world where we MAKE things happen. Whatever happened to the art of LETTING or ALLOWING thing to happen? It seems as if there is no room for the adventure of allowing one’s Creator to take care of things. This unseen force often does things better and in far grander style than we could ever imagine, yet we seldom, if ever, let go and let God … When it comes to romantic love and looking for our soulmate, we are no different. Often we have to grow into the state of readiness for this to happen. We ignore this fact, however, and chafe with impatience because the search is taking too long. We become frustrated when we keep on meeting people who are “wrong”, forgetting that we are attracting these people because there are issues we still need to work through before we will attract that special and longed-for person. Unfortunately there are no quick fixes when it comes to finding our life’s partner. Here snap decisions can shoot us in the foot. Rather let time show out to us the right person. Sometimes we just have to play life out before it becomes clear to us which person to choose, or as it often happens, which person chooses us! This endless waiting game can instil in us some very valuable qualities, such as consideration and humility. It can teach us to use our common sense and to open our eyes. With time, warning signals also become easier to read. Often when a relationship starts we turn a blind eye to things that are obviously wrong simply because we so badly want a steady partner. The waiting game, although frustrating, generally sorts out what is best for us. This is why I always say to my clients that when it comes to romance, we need to set a few parameters in place and then just let things happen. If we push fruit ripe, it is never as delicious as fruit which ripens naturally on the tree. It’s exactly the same with our love lives. Here patience is a winning recipe. When it comes to true love there simply are no shortcuts. Love needs to stand the test of time, and indeed we should let it do so when we are looking for our soulmate. I wish you luck in your search. © 2011, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, one out of every three people who joined Perfect Strangers, met someone special! Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!

Retain your essence

One of the things that often happen when someone goes into a relationship, is that he/she seems to merge into the personality of his/her partner and often takes on some/many of the partner’s characteristics. One starts saying the same things, picks up the same mannerisms, goes after the same hobbies etc. By doing this, we change, and after a while we are no longer the person our partner fell in love with! Little wonder so many relationships fail and people fall out of love. We are all individuals and are made to stand out, not blend in. Each of us has something unique to offer our partners and bring to the relationship. This uniqueness makes us special and irreplaceable. Why on earth do we tone it down? One of the reasons we may do this is because of a poor self-image. We think we are not good enough just as we are. This may be our own opinion, but if we are thinking along these lines we are simply believing a lie. We ourselves do not go around thinking other people are not good enough, and they do not walk around thinking we are not good enough. It is a belief that we ourselves fabricate that keeps us thinking the worst of ourselves. This can hardly be called a worthwhile pursuit. Snap out of it and own your good points. Show them off to the world and develop them further. Make a point of always being your best self, and not a second-rate version of someone else. Your essence or soul is your own special blend of perfume and is your gift to the world. The world is not complete without you. You are a part of the music of the universe. Be visible and audible and show off your best you. This is the best way to be a happy individual and to make your partner happy as well. Don’t: Hide your light under a bushel Do: Always be your irresistible, irreplaceable self © 2011, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, one out of every three people who joined Perfect Strangers, met someone special! Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!