In my experience as a dating coach and professional dating service owner, I have come to the conclusion that people are often not what they seem. In most cases, people are on their best behaviour when they first meet us, and it is often only after a long time that the real person emerges.
In my own case, when I first met the man I am happy with today, I thought he was very ordinary and did not give him a second thought. I met him again a year later and something told me to scratch beneath the surface. I am very glad I did just that, because he did not play all his cards when he first met me and I made the common mistake of judging a book by its cover. As time went by, I realised again and again that he has nearly all the qualities I had been looking for in a man and much more.
To go to the opposite extreme, a client of mine, Paul*, told me of his experiences the other day. Sixteen months ago he met Mandy*, and could not believe that such a gorgeous creature was interested in him. She was everything a man dreamed of: beautiful, a figure to die for and very entertaining company. She was financially independent and did not have any baggage he could see at that stage. As time went by, however, the real Mandy came to light. She lied a lot, she was unreliable, she had a vicious temper and had no friends. In the beginning he was madly in love, but because of the bad treatment he received from her, he eventually fell out of love. It was quite difficult to back out of the relationship, but when he finally did it was a big relief. He says he will be much more careful in the future.
If we are prepared to give people a chance and take things slowly, to a large degree we can prevent ourselves from making these types of mistakes. So let’s not judge books by their covers, but look for the inner qualities of the people we meet. First impressions can be deceiving!
© 2010 Marilyn Welch
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
To read up more about Marilyn Welch and her professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, click here.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
NB: Copyright subsists in this material. It may not be reproduced in any way whatsoever without the express, written permission of Marilyn Welch.
• Names have been changed.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Practice makes perfect
As a professional dating service owner and dating coach, I have noticed that people seldom want to actually date much. They often seem to want to meet their soulmate immediately without any fuss. In theory, this may sound like they are getting to the point and not wasting time, but practically speaking, it may not be such a good idea.
When we first start dating, we often have a very vague idea of what we really want from a partner. By meeting lots of people, we start learning what we like and don’t like and how we will handle different situations. We get to know how the opposite sex thinks. All this stands us in very good stead when choosing a life partner. Nothing teaches us better than our own life experience, and with dating and choosing good partners, it is no different. We need to find out where we are making mistakes and how we can improve in order to be the best partner ourselves.
Most of us don’t meet our soulmate early in life. Lots of us have relationships that do not work out, sometimes many of them. We should regard all of them as learning experiences. We should regard our dates as opportunities to practice the art of learning how to choose who is best for us. Practice makes perfect. Practice your way lovingly and carefully into meeting the partner of your dreams. Most of us can say that in the long run we know better as we grow older.
So take heart if it takes time to meet that special partner. The dates you have now are paving the way for you to meet your soulmate.
Copyright 2010. Marilyn Welch
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
To read up more about Marilyn Welch and her professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, click here.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za
NB: Copyright subsists in this material. It may not be reproduced in any way whatsoever without the express, written permission of Marilyn Welch.
When we first start dating, we often have a very vague idea of what we really want from a partner. By meeting lots of people, we start learning what we like and don’t like and how we will handle different situations. We get to know how the opposite sex thinks. All this stands us in very good stead when choosing a life partner. Nothing teaches us better than our own life experience, and with dating and choosing good partners, it is no different. We need to find out where we are making mistakes and how we can improve in order to be the best partner ourselves.
Most of us don’t meet our soulmate early in life. Lots of us have relationships that do not work out, sometimes many of them. We should regard all of them as learning experiences. We should regard our dates as opportunities to practice the art of learning how to choose who is best for us. Practice makes perfect. Practice your way lovingly and carefully into meeting the partner of your dreams. Most of us can say that in the long run we know better as we grow older.
So take heart if it takes time to meet that special partner. The dates you have now are paving the way for you to meet your soulmate.
Copyright 2010. Marilyn Welch
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
To read up more about Marilyn Welch and her professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, click here.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za
NB: Copyright subsists in this material. It may not be reproduced in any way whatsoever without the express, written permission of Marilyn Welch.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Mixed messages get you nowhere
In my experience as a dating coach and professional dating service owner, I often come across people who give out mixed messages. Last year I coached a lady called Tessa*, who used to do just this. She came to me because she felt she was having no luck with her dating. On closer examination I found out that her actions contradicted her words.
She claimed to be open to having a serious relationship if a suitable man came into her life. The trouble was, in the last five years she had come nowhere near to becoming serious with anyone. I found out that she had not been very open and friendly when anyone asked her for a date and that she had often cancelled a date at the last minute or simply not pitched up! This is what I call incongruent behaviour and it gets you nowhere if you want a serious, stable relationship. At first she did not see anything really wrong with her behaviour and it took quite some time for her to see that the universe only reflects back to you what you give out, and that she would have to change her behaviour before her life would change in any way. It turned out that there were deep-seated reasons for her attitude and I eventually referred her to a competent psychologist.
The point is, if you really want something in life, the last thing you need to do is sabotage your attempts to get it. In the dating field, your dates will quickly pick up that something is wrong if you behave in this confused way. Sometimes this kind of behaviour can easily be changed, and it will certainly be worth your while to reflect on the Law of Attraction and how to use it. Like a magnet, what you give out comes back to you and you will eventually get what you think most about. Let’s all give out clear messages and help make our dating less complicated! © 2010
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate.
Visit the coaching section of the website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
To read up more about Marilyn Welch and her professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, click here.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
NB: Copyright subsists in this material. It may not be reproduced in any way whatsoever without the express, written permission of Marilyn Welch.
* Name has been changed.
She claimed to be open to having a serious relationship if a suitable man came into her life. The trouble was, in the last five years she had come nowhere near to becoming serious with anyone. I found out that she had not been very open and friendly when anyone asked her for a date and that she had often cancelled a date at the last minute or simply not pitched up! This is what I call incongruent behaviour and it gets you nowhere if you want a serious, stable relationship. At first she did not see anything really wrong with her behaviour and it took quite some time for her to see that the universe only reflects back to you what you give out, and that she would have to change her behaviour before her life would change in any way. It turned out that there were deep-seated reasons for her attitude and I eventually referred her to a competent psychologist.
The point is, if you really want something in life, the last thing you need to do is sabotage your attempts to get it. In the dating field, your dates will quickly pick up that something is wrong if you behave in this confused way. Sometimes this kind of behaviour can easily be changed, and it will certainly be worth your while to reflect on the Law of Attraction and how to use it. Like a magnet, what you give out comes back to you and you will eventually get what you think most about. Let’s all give out clear messages and help make our dating less complicated! © 2010
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate.
Visit the coaching section of the website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
To read up more about Marilyn Welch and her professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, click here.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
NB: Copyright subsists in this material. It may not be reproduced in any way whatsoever without the express, written permission of Marilyn Welch.
* Name has been changed.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Follow your intuition
In my experience as a professional dating service owner, I come across many people who ignore their intuition. Indeed, society almost teaches us to ignore it. Well-meaning friends and family impress their values on us and easily convince us that we are wrong and that they are right. We do not have enough confidence in our own judgement to follow what we think is right.
This applies in particular to whom we date and marry. It’s almost as if our friends and family must be satisfied that we have made the right choice before we ourselves can be happy about it. Glenda* and Jack* were just such a couple. Although Glenda’s parents always allowed her to live her own life and make her own choices, she was greatly influenced by peer pressure to settle down with Jack, who met her friends’ approval. She had had her doubts about Jack at the time, but in their group of friends they all had so much fun that she ignored that still, small voice that was telling her that Jack was not the right person for her. Ten years after marrying him she had grown as a person, met other friends who had other standards, and Jack no longer measured up. They went for counselling, and it was there that Glenda started learning to appreciate her own values and ideas, and to be emotionally more independent. She and Jack did finally split up, but she now has a much better idea of who she is as a person and what she wants out of life and a future partner. She is still learning to listen to her own intuition and not the opinions of her friends, but has progressed considerably since the days when she first got married.
Yes, we all want a partner who will fit in with our friends and family, but not at the expense of compromising our own values and standards, which may be different to theirs, and not at the expense of choosing someone who we in any way feel uneasy about. Choosing a life partner is a monumental decision. We need to develop our sixth sense, be sensitive to it and use it carefully and constructively when making this choice. This may involve taking a stance that will make us stand out as different from everyone else. Only we will know in our heart of hearts what is right for us. So have courage and stand up for what you know is right for you as a unique individual. You may save yourself years of heartache. © 2010. All rights reserved.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
To read up more about Marilyn Welch and her professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, click here.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
NB: Copyright subsists in this material. It may not be reproduced in any way whatsoever without the express, written permission of Marilyn Welch.
* Names have been changed.
This applies in particular to whom we date and marry. It’s almost as if our friends and family must be satisfied that we have made the right choice before we ourselves can be happy about it. Glenda* and Jack* were just such a couple. Although Glenda’s parents always allowed her to live her own life and make her own choices, she was greatly influenced by peer pressure to settle down with Jack, who met her friends’ approval. She had had her doubts about Jack at the time, but in their group of friends they all had so much fun that she ignored that still, small voice that was telling her that Jack was not the right person for her. Ten years after marrying him she had grown as a person, met other friends who had other standards, and Jack no longer measured up. They went for counselling, and it was there that Glenda started learning to appreciate her own values and ideas, and to be emotionally more independent. She and Jack did finally split up, but she now has a much better idea of who she is as a person and what she wants out of life and a future partner. She is still learning to listen to her own intuition and not the opinions of her friends, but has progressed considerably since the days when she first got married.
Yes, we all want a partner who will fit in with our friends and family, but not at the expense of compromising our own values and standards, which may be different to theirs, and not at the expense of choosing someone who we in any way feel uneasy about. Choosing a life partner is a monumental decision. We need to develop our sixth sense, be sensitive to it and use it carefully and constructively when making this choice. This may involve taking a stance that will make us stand out as different from everyone else. Only we will know in our heart of hearts what is right for us. So have courage and stand up for what you know is right for you as a unique individual. You may save yourself years of heartache. © 2010. All rights reserved.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
To read up more about Marilyn Welch and her professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, click here.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
NB: Copyright subsists in this material. It may not be reproduced in any way whatsoever without the express, written permission of Marilyn Welch.
* Names have been changed.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
All that glitters is not gold
In my thirteen years of experience as a professional dating service owner, I have come across many people who are attracted by material things. For example, a woman may say she would like to meet a good-looking hunk with lots of money and a man may say he wants to meet a woman who is slim and gorgeous.
I see from my vantage point of getting to know my clients that this is often a recipe for disaster. The women often find that this kind of man does not appreciate them or treat them well. The men often find that the stunning looking women turn out to be bitches who make their lives a misery.
The men and women who look for these qualities often go through a series of failed relationships before they learn to look more for the inner qualities that make a person a good romantic partner. It is not to say that good-looking hunks with lots of money and slim, gorgeous women are all bad. My advice is just to be careful. You may find instead that the so-called “boring” people make the best life partners.
I myself fell into this trap two years ago when I met the man I am happy with today. I at first thought he was very unexciting. As I got to know him, however, I found that in the beginning he did not play all his cards. As time went by I discovered absolutely wonderful things about him which are not obvious when you first get to know him. Today I can honestly say he is the most fabulous partner and that we are very well suited! (NB: He is not a rich, good-looking hunk!!)
Everyone has something unique and wonderful to offer. So let’s not judge a book by its cover and be more flexible in our choices. We may just be very pleasantly surprised! © 2010
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate.
Visit the coaching section of my website for no-nonsense, practical dating and relationship advice.
To read up more about Marilyn Welch and her professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, click here.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za
NB: Copyright subsists in this material. It may not be reproduced in any way whatsoever without the express, written permission of Marilyn Welch.
I see from my vantage point of getting to know my clients that this is often a recipe for disaster. The women often find that this kind of man does not appreciate them or treat them well. The men often find that the stunning looking women turn out to be bitches who make their lives a misery.
The men and women who look for these qualities often go through a series of failed relationships before they learn to look more for the inner qualities that make a person a good romantic partner. It is not to say that good-looking hunks with lots of money and slim, gorgeous women are all bad. My advice is just to be careful. You may find instead that the so-called “boring” people make the best life partners.
I myself fell into this trap two years ago when I met the man I am happy with today. I at first thought he was very unexciting. As I got to know him, however, I found that in the beginning he did not play all his cards. As time went by I discovered absolutely wonderful things about him which are not obvious when you first get to know him. Today I can honestly say he is the most fabulous partner and that we are very well suited! (NB: He is not a rich, good-looking hunk!!)
Everyone has something unique and wonderful to offer. So let’s not judge a book by its cover and be more flexible in our choices. We may just be very pleasantly surprised! © 2010
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate.
Visit the coaching section of my website for no-nonsense, practical dating and relationship advice.
To read up more about Marilyn Welch and her professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, click here.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za
NB: Copyright subsists in this material. It may not be reproduced in any way whatsoever without the express, written permission of Marilyn Welch.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
A good relationship requires steadfast maintenance
A friend of mine, Sylvia*, has a very good relationship with her husband, Ronald*. But she tells me that this was not always the case. Years ago they had fallen into the trap of taking each other for granted. Luckily when they saw things were not going so well, they went for counselling and put matters right. Within a couple of months things had greatly improved. Sylvia says it was actually very simple. They had gotten into bad habits and had started neglecting each other. In a nutshell, it was a case of finding out what had always been good and MAINTAINING and even IMPROVING on that magic.
A man will never dream of running his prize motorcar without always checking that it has water, oil and petrol. He will send it for regular services and make sure it is always sparkling clean. A good gardener will lavish attention on his garden to make sure it always stays beautiful. He will regularly water and fertilise his plants and lawn. He will make sure everything is trimmed and pruned at the right time.
So it is with our relationships. If we are lucky enough to have someone special in our lives, we need to keep the romance alive. We need to nurture and protect this relationship. We need to be unselfish and put the other person first. I was lucky enough to have had a happy marriage to my second husband, Bryan. If something was wrong, we immediately put it right. We worked hard at making sure that the other party always felt appreciated. When he passed away we were on very good terms and I have no regrets. We need to live in the present moment and live as if each day were our very last.
So find out what is good in your relationship, build on that and MAINTAIN AND EVEN IMPROVE on it. Pull out the weeds that are choking it to death and look after your relationship as if it were gold. What we give out comes back to us, so it is in our own best interests. Copyright 2010.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
To read up more on Marilyn Welch and her professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, click here.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
NB: Copyright subsists in this material. It may not be reproduced in any way whatsoever without the express, written permission of Marilyn Welch.
* Names have been changed.
A man will never dream of running his prize motorcar without always checking that it has water, oil and petrol. He will send it for regular services and make sure it is always sparkling clean. A good gardener will lavish attention on his garden to make sure it always stays beautiful. He will regularly water and fertilise his plants and lawn. He will make sure everything is trimmed and pruned at the right time.
So it is with our relationships. If we are lucky enough to have someone special in our lives, we need to keep the romance alive. We need to nurture and protect this relationship. We need to be unselfish and put the other person first. I was lucky enough to have had a happy marriage to my second husband, Bryan. If something was wrong, we immediately put it right. We worked hard at making sure that the other party always felt appreciated. When he passed away we were on very good terms and I have no regrets. We need to live in the present moment and live as if each day were our very last.
So find out what is good in your relationship, build on that and MAINTAIN AND EVEN IMPROVE on it. Pull out the weeds that are choking it to death and look after your relationship as if it were gold. What we give out comes back to us, so it is in our own best interests. Copyright 2010.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
To read up more on Marilyn Welch and her professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, click here.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
NB: Copyright subsists in this material. It may not be reproduced in any way whatsoever without the express, written permission of Marilyn Welch.
* Names have been changed.
Monday, May 10, 2010
The world mirrors us
Being the owner of my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, and having given out plenty of dating and relationship advice over the years, I am in the privileged position where I am told many interesting stories.
Just last week, a client of mine, Lisa*, brought an important point home to me by telling me her story. This is what she told me in summary:
Lisa came out of a very toxic home. Her father and her brothers were very poor examples of how a man should treat a woman, and she grew up feeling fearful of men. This translated to her relationships with boyfriends as she grew up, and she always chose the wrong men. The men experienced her as unfriendly and cold, because these were the energies she was giving out. They mirrored her vibrations and treated her badly.
As the years went by and she became older, she read many books to help her cope with life and relationships in general. She even went for therapy at different stages of her life. Gradually something inside her started to thaw. She started choosing men she knew would treat her well instead of the playboys who messed her around. The good treatment started melting her heart and by and by she started feeling like a normal woman. Men in general started treating her more kindly and she started feeling a sincere and very real liking for them.
Lisa is an attractive woman, and her new attitude started attracting men who genuinely liked women, and many of them. Previously she had fallen into the trap of erroneously thinking that there are no good men. Because her attitude has changed, she is now discovering that this is untrue. She tells me that each successive boyfriend she meets treats her better than the previous one. She now has the confidence to set sensible boundaries. Men don’t take chances with her anymore. She confidently expects the best and gets it.
Strangely enough, this attitude towards men has translated into her life in general. She is a highly successful entrepreneur and her relationships with her clients have improved dramatically over the years. Life is treating her well these days and she has come a long way since the days when she lived in that toxic home. Over the years, the world mirrored her attitude and she attracted what she gave out. She now realises how important it is to give out good energies, because the world mirrors them back to you. I am looking forward to introducing some of the wonderful men I have on my books to her. © 2010
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
To read up more about Marilyn Welch and her professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, click here.
You can email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
NB: Copyright subsists in this material. It may not be reproduced in any way whatsoever without the express, written permission of Marilyn Welch.
* Name has been changed.
Just last week, a client of mine, Lisa*, brought an important point home to me by telling me her story. This is what she told me in summary:
Lisa came out of a very toxic home. Her father and her brothers were very poor examples of how a man should treat a woman, and she grew up feeling fearful of men. This translated to her relationships with boyfriends as she grew up, and she always chose the wrong men. The men experienced her as unfriendly and cold, because these were the energies she was giving out. They mirrored her vibrations and treated her badly.
As the years went by and she became older, she read many books to help her cope with life and relationships in general. She even went for therapy at different stages of her life. Gradually something inside her started to thaw. She started choosing men she knew would treat her well instead of the playboys who messed her around. The good treatment started melting her heart and by and by she started feeling like a normal woman. Men in general started treating her more kindly and she started feeling a sincere and very real liking for them.
Lisa is an attractive woman, and her new attitude started attracting men who genuinely liked women, and many of them. Previously she had fallen into the trap of erroneously thinking that there are no good men. Because her attitude has changed, she is now discovering that this is untrue. She tells me that each successive boyfriend she meets treats her better than the previous one. She now has the confidence to set sensible boundaries. Men don’t take chances with her anymore. She confidently expects the best and gets it.
Strangely enough, this attitude towards men has translated into her life in general. She is a highly successful entrepreneur and her relationships with her clients have improved dramatically over the years. Life is treating her well these days and she has come a long way since the days when she lived in that toxic home. Over the years, the world mirrored her attitude and she attracted what she gave out. She now realises how important it is to give out good energies, because the world mirrors them back to you. I am looking forward to introducing some of the wonderful men I have on my books to her. © 2010
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
To read up more about Marilyn Welch and her professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, click here.
You can email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
NB: Copyright subsists in this material. It may not be reproduced in any way whatsoever without the express, written permission of Marilyn Welch.
* Name has been changed.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Everything happens for the best
As a professional dating service owner, I speak to many people who have regrets about how their previous relationships have panned out. In my previous blog, I told the story of Jill and Jeremy* whose relationship never worked out. For a long time Jill had big regrets about what happened and kept playing scenes over and over again in her mind about how things could have worked out if she had handled them differently. She went from being obsessed about her future to being absorbed in the past.
Recently Jill met someone very special and was determined to do things differently this time. She came to me for coaching as she felt she needed some dating and relationship advice. She is now focusing on enjoying every moment with her new boyfriend and is determined not to be results oriented in this relationship. She feels he is much better suited to her than Jeremy was and sees that her breakup with Jeremy happened for the best. She now believes that everything always works out for the best. (Even the Bible tells us this!) She tells me that even if her present relationship does not work out, she will see it as a blessing in disguise and will wait confidently and patiently for the universe to bring her the right man. When she spoke to me a few days ago about her new frame of mind, I could not believe it was the same person, so dramatic has been the transformation since we started the coaching. Such is the power of living in the moment! © 2010
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
To read up more about Marilyn Welch and her professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, click here.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
Copyright subsists in this material and it may not be reproduced in any way whatsoever without the express, written permission of Marilyn Welch.
* Names have been changed.
Recently Jill met someone very special and was determined to do things differently this time. She came to me for coaching as she felt she needed some dating and relationship advice. She is now focusing on enjoying every moment with her new boyfriend and is determined not to be results oriented in this relationship. She feels he is much better suited to her than Jeremy was and sees that her breakup with Jeremy happened for the best. She now believes that everything always works out for the best. (Even the Bible tells us this!) She tells me that even if her present relationship does not work out, she will see it as a blessing in disguise and will wait confidently and patiently for the universe to bring her the right man. When she spoke to me a few days ago about her new frame of mind, I could not believe it was the same person, so dramatic has been the transformation since we started the coaching. Such is the power of living in the moment! © 2010
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
To read up more about Marilyn Welch and her professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, click here.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
Copyright subsists in this material and it may not be reproduced in any way whatsoever without the express, written permission of Marilyn Welch.
* Names have been changed.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Don't date with expectations
As a professional dating service owner, I come across plenty of people who have great expectations when it comes to dating. If it is not themselves who are placing the expectations, it is well-meaning friends and family.
One of my clients, (let’s call her Jill), was going out with a guy (let’s call him Jeremy) some years back. They had a lot of fun together and became very fond of each other as time went by. After about a year her friends and family started asking questions about when they would be getting married etc. Jill then started putting pressure on Jeremy to marry her and it is then that their relationship started going downhill. Because they had been going out for a year and people were asking questions, she then automatically expected that they should marry. Jeremy had reasons of his own why he was not ready, and if he had not been pressurised, would probably have got around to it in time. But Jill was like a dog with a bone and would not relax and let the matter drop. In time Jeremy felt totally overwhelmed and then backed out of the relationship and Jill chalked up a failed relationship to her slate. If only she had relaxed and appreciated what she had. If only she had not taken notice of her family and friends.
All too often we forget about enjoying the present and focus on some future event which we feel should be taking place. Now is all we have. No matter how hard we think about it or plan, the future is uncertain. Now is a certainty. How we live today determines our future. Let’s make the most of today and appreciate what we have right now. If we live in gratitude and appreciation the universe is likely to bless us with even more abundance. The choice is ours! © 2010
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
To read up more on Marilyn Welch and her professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, click here.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za
NB: Copyright subsists in this material. It may not be reproduced in any way whatsoever without the express, written permission of Marilyn Welch.
One of my clients, (let’s call her Jill), was going out with a guy (let’s call him Jeremy) some years back. They had a lot of fun together and became very fond of each other as time went by. After about a year her friends and family started asking questions about when they would be getting married etc. Jill then started putting pressure on Jeremy to marry her and it is then that their relationship started going downhill. Because they had been going out for a year and people were asking questions, she then automatically expected that they should marry. Jeremy had reasons of his own why he was not ready, and if he had not been pressurised, would probably have got around to it in time. But Jill was like a dog with a bone and would not relax and let the matter drop. In time Jeremy felt totally overwhelmed and then backed out of the relationship and Jill chalked up a failed relationship to her slate. If only she had relaxed and appreciated what she had. If only she had not taken notice of her family and friends.
All too often we forget about enjoying the present and focus on some future event which we feel should be taking place. Now is all we have. No matter how hard we think about it or plan, the future is uncertain. Now is a certainty. How we live today determines our future. Let’s make the most of today and appreciate what we have right now. If we live in gratitude and appreciation the universe is likely to bless us with even more abundance. The choice is ours! © 2010
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
To read up more on Marilyn Welch and her professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, click here.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za
NB: Copyright subsists in this material. It may not be reproduced in any way whatsoever without the express, written permission of Marilyn Welch.
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