The world reflects us back to ourselves

In the course of my work (professional dating service owner and relationship mentor), people are always telling me interesting stories. From what they tell me, I learn a lot about them. An example comes to mind of a client of mine, Len*. When my lady clients give me feedback about him, it is generally very positive. I myself have always found him to be pleasant and reliable. Imagine my surprise when one of my ladies, Annabelle*, told me she found him to be unreliable and that he was not always truthful! Did Annabelle tell me the truth? After she told me about this I sat down and thought for a while. As I thought about Annabelle, it slowly started to dawn on me. I have found in the past that Annabelle is seldom available to take calls and that when one leaves messages for her she seldom returns them. I also know that I cannot depend on her when I ask her to do something for me. She herself is unreliable and tends to bend the truth at times. Therefore she is eliciting this kind of response in the men that she dates! Annabelle perceives what she told me as the truth. It is her truth. It is not the truth of the majority of people who know Len. The Law of Attraction always holds true. Like a magnet attracts iron filings, so we attract people who demonstrate the same qualities we do. We should never ask of people what we are not prepared to give ourselves. So let’s all work on ourselves to be the very best we can be. That way, we are more likely to attract the partner of our dreams. *Names have been changed. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

The world mirrors us

Being the owner of my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, and having given out plenty of dating and relationship advice over the years, I am in the privileged position where I am told many interesting stories. Some time back, a client of mine, Lisa*, brought an important point home to me by telling me her story. This is what she told me in summary: Lisa came out of a very toxic home. Her father and her brothers were very poor examples of how a man should treat a woman, and she grew up feeling fearful of men. This transmigrated to her relationships with boyfriends as she grew up, and she always chose the wrong men. The men experienced her as unfriendly and cold, because these were the energies she was giving out. They mirrored her vibrations and treated her badly. As the years went by and she became older, she read many books to help her cope with life and relationships in general. She even went for therapy at different stages of her life. Gradually something inside her started to thaw. She started choosing men she knew would treat her well instead of the playboys who messed her around. The good treatment started melting her heart and by and by she started feeling like a normal woman. Men in general started treating her more kindly and she started feeling a sincere and very real liking for them. Lisa is an attractive woman, and her new attitude started attracting men who genuinely liked women, and many of them. Previously she had fallen into the trap of erroneously thinking that there are no good men. Because her attitude had changed, she was now discovering that this is untrue. She told me that each successive boyfriend she meets treats her better than the previous one. She now has the confidence to set sensible boundaries. Men don’t take chances with her anymore. She confidently expects the best and gets it. Strangely enough, this attitude towards men has transmigrated into other areas of her live as well. She is a highly successful entrepreneur and her relationships with her clients have improved dramatically over the years. Life is treating her well these days and she has come a long way since the days when she lived in that toxic home. Over the years, the world mirrored her attitude and she attracted what she gave out. She now realises how important it is to give out good energies, because the world mirrors them back to you. *Name has been changed. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

The List

Something we are all told to do when we are looking for a partner is to write down a list of all the qualities we want this person to have. I have a slightly different take on this, which you can read about below: For some of us it can be quite a long list, but I would urge you to narrow down this list to no more than 5 MUST HAVES. When this is done, in the same vein make a list of all the things you cannot stand in a partner, and also narrow this down to no more than 5 CAN’T STANDS. Now comes the interesting part: Take your MUST HAVE shortlist, and list the qualities on this list which you yourself have! Most people admit that they themselves have only have one or two of the qualities they want in a partner … In all fairness, we cannot expect something of another person that we do not or cannot deliver ourselves. Now, take your CAN’T STAND shortlist, think carefully, and see if you can identify any of these traits in yourself! The world reflects us back to ourselves, and if someone irritates us in some way, we often have that annoying characteristic lurking in our inner selves … It is important to be scrupulously honest with yourself. According to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like. The Universe may be trying to teach you something here. As you can see, to be the kind of person who can attract the soulmate of their dreams, we have some work to do! Let’s go ahead now and work on ourselves so that we can be happy, emotionally independent people who can be a tonic to our ideal partners. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Practice makes perfect

As a professional dating service owner and dating mentor, I have noticed that people seldom want to actually date much. They often seem to want to meet their soulmate immediately without any fuss. In theory, this may sound like they are getting to the point and not wasting time, but practically speaking, it may not be such a good idea. When we first start dating, we often have a very vague idea of what we really want from a partner. By meeting lots of people, we start learning what we like and don’t like and how we will handle different situations. We get to know how the opposite sex thinks. All this stands us in very good stead when choosing a life partner. Nothing teaches us better than our own life experience, and with dating and choosing good partners, it is no different. We need to find out where we are making mistakes and how we can improve in order to be the best partner ourselves. Most of us don’t meet our soulmate early in life. Lots of us have relationships that do not work out, sometimes many of them. We should regard all of them as learning experiences. We should regard our dates as opportunities to practice the art of learning how to choose who is best for us. Practice makes perfect. Practice your way lovingly and carefully into meeting the partner of your dreams. Most of us can say that in the long run we know better as we grow older. So take heart if it takes time to meet that special partner. The dates you have now are paving the way for you to meet your very own true soulmate. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

People often misrepresent themselves

In my experience as a dating coach and professional dating service owner, I have come to the conclusion that people are often not what they seem. In most cases, people are on their best behaviour when they first meet us, and it is often only after a long time that the real person emerges. In my own case, when I first met my present husband, I thought he was very ordinary and did not give him a second thought. I met him again a year later and something told me to scratch beneath the surface. I am very glad I did just that, because he did not play all his cards when he first met me and I made the common mistake of judging a book by its cover. As time went by, I realised again and again that he has nearly all the qualities I had been looking for in a man and much more. To go to the opposite extreme, a client of mine, Paul*, told me of his experiences the other day. Six months ago he met Mandy*, and could not believe that such a gorgeous creature was interested in him. She was everything a man could dream of: beautiful, a figure to die for and very entertaining company. She was financially independent and did not have any baggage he could see at that stage. As time went by, however, the real Mandy came to light. She lied a lot, she was unreliable, she had a vicious temper and had no friends. In the beginning he was madly in love, but because of the bad treatment he received from her, he eventually fell out of love. It was quite difficult to back out of the relationship, but when he finally did it was a big relief. He says he will be much more careful in the future. If we are prepared to give people a chance and take things slowly, to a large degree we can prevent ourselves from making these types of mistakes. So let’s not judge books by their covers, but look for the inner qualities of the people we meet. First impressions can be deceiving! *Name has been changed. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Mixed messages get you nowhere

In my experience as a dating mentor and professional dating service owner, I often come across people who give out mixed messages. A few years ago I mentored a lady called Tessa*, who used to do just this. She came to me because she felt she was having no luck with her dating. On closer examination I found out that her actions contradicted her words. She claimed to be open to having a serious relationship if a suitable man came into her life. The trouble was, in the last five years she had come nowhere near to becoming serious with anyone. I found out that she had not been very open and friendly when anyone asked her for a date and that she had often cancelled a date at the last minute or simply not pitched up! This is what I call incongruent behaviour and it gets you nowhere if you want a serious, stable relationship. At first she did not see anything really wrong with her behaviour and it took quite some time for her to see that the universe only reflects back to you what you give out, and that she would have to change her behaviour before her life would change in any way. It turned out that there were deep-seated reasons for her attitude and I eventually referred her to a competent psychologist. The point is, if you really want something in life, the last thing you need to do is sabotage your attempts to get it. In the dating field, your dates will quickly pick up that something is wrong if you behave in this confused way. Sometimes this kind of behaviour can easily be changed, and it will certainly be worth your while to reflect on the Law of Attraction and how to use it. Like a magnet, what you give out comes back to you and you will eventually get what you think most about. Let’s all give out clear messages and help make our dating less complicated! *Name has been changed. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

The importance of good maintenance

A good relationship requires steadfast maintenance A friend of mine, Sylvia*, has a very good relationship with her husband, Ronald*. But she tells me that this was not always the case. Years ago they had fallen into the trap of taking each other for granted. Luckily when they saw things were not going so well, they went for counselling and put matters right. Within a couple of months things had greatly improved. Sylvia says it was actually very simple. They had gotten into bad habits and had started neglecting each other. In a nutshell, it was a case of finding out what had always been good and MAINTAINING and even IMPROVING on that magic. A man will never dream of running his prize motorcar without always checking it has water, oil and petrol. He will send it for regular services and make sure it is always sparkling clean. A good gardener will lavish attention on his garden to make sure it always stays beautiful. He will regularly water and fertilise his plants and lawn. He will make sure everything is trimmed and pruned at the right time. So it is with our relationships. If we are lucky enough to have someone special in our lives, we need to keep the romance alive. We need to nurture and protect this relationship. We need to be unselfish and put the other person first. I was lucky enough to have had a happy marriage to my second husband, Bryan. If something was wrong, we immediately put it right. We worked hard at making sure that the other party always felt appreciated. When he passed away we were on very good terms and I have no regrets. We need to live in the present moment and live as if each day were our very last. Today I am very happily married to my third husband, Richard. We do not take our happiness for granted, and nurture and cherish it every day. These are age-old principles that have stood the test of time. They are definitely doable. So find out what is good in your relationship, build on that and MAINTAIN AND EVEN IMPROVE on it. Pull out the weeds that are choking it to death and look after your relationship as if it were gold. What we give out comes back to us, so it is in our own best interests. *Names have been changed. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Keep your power

As a professional dating service owner and relationship mentor, many people tell me the ways in which they conduct their romantic relationships. Something I often hear is “When I am in a relationship, I give my all.” These people invariably have a history of failed relationships, even though they gave their all. Are you perhaps falling into the same trap? When we are in a relationship, our partner generally likes to see us as a socially healthy, independent individual with our own wonderful, exciting life. When we “give our all” to a relationship, we may come across as needy and clingy. By giving our all to our partner, we may also come across as not having much to give to the rest of the world. It may also put a lot of pressure on our partner to reciprocate, which may make him/her very uncomfortable. By focusing on our partner in this way, we do not appear to them as rare and special individuals, whose company is of great value. We are too easy to get and are therefore easy to forget. For these reasons, this approach may very well be a big turnoff for our partner! So what is the solution? Like with everything else in this life, it is good to keep a healthy balance. Rather focus on your Creator, your own personal development, your family and friends and your hobbies and interests. Then, if you have time left over, give it to the person you are dating. Let them understand that they are lucky to have you in their lives. Believe this yourself. Let your company always be a special event, not something that smothers them. Less is generally more, and it is no different when you date. If, with time, your partner shows definite signs of appreciating you, then is the time to gradually start giving more. Let them earn the loving attention you want to give them. I guarantee you if you give this attention too soon, your partner will not appreciate it. All you will do is give away your power and be on your way to another failed relationship. This gradual process of positive growth will result in you keeping your power in your relationship. It should be a mutual thing, and it will ensure that you keep your respect for each other. This kind of approach assures a solid foundation upon which a sound, healthy relationship can grow. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

It's ok to change your mind

When we meet someone special, we like to hang in there and do our best to make things work. If we hit a rough patch, we like to persevere with our efforts to make our relationship work, and usually this is a good thing. Sometimes, however, it is not in our best interests to stay in such a relationship. Some years back, a friend of mine, Alicia*, was engaged to Grant*. They went out steadily for a year and then decided to get engaged. The wedding was planned for six months later. A week before the wedding, Alicia and Grant had a huge fight. Grant hit Alicia and broke one of her ribs. Alicia was terrified, but did not want to call the wedding off because all the arrangements had been made and she felt she couldn’t back out. Needless to say, after they got married he continued his abuse and a year later she filed for divorce. The order of things in a relationship is usually courtship, engagement and then marriage. It is good to take things really slowly and if we feel we are dating the wrong person, it is ok to change our mind and withdraw. Maybe we think we will never be lucky in love again and this person is our last chance. WRONG. If you see any red lights, you owe it to yourself to pull out and end a relationship. Do this whilst you are still dating or engaged, but you have only yourself to blame if you see the signs but get married anyway. It happens often that our partner only lets us see their true colours once we are ensnared in a marriage. For this reason it is best to not be in a hurry. Time usually sorts these kinds of problems out, if we will just allow it. Take time getting to know your partner and don’t commit to anything unless you are very sure. If necessary, stop a bad relationship and know that it is perfectly acceptable to have a change of heart. You could save yourself a load of trouble! *Names have been changed. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Integrity in a relationship

As a professional dating service owner and relationship mentor specialising in social skills, many people have told me what they are looking for in a romantic partner. One of the qualities stands out above the rest: people are looking for a partner with integrity. We all want someone who will deal honestly with us, someone whom we can trust. We need to make sure we ourselves are also just such a person. What does it mean to have integrity in a relationship? It’s actually very simple and it’s also a matter of developing good habits. A good place to start is to be an absolutely reliable person yourself. When you say you are going to do something, do it. Don’t delay or not do it. Don’t lie to people. They will find you out and it will just bounce back on you. When someone leaves a message for you on your phone, return the call. If you make an appointment with someone, keep it. If you can’t for some reason, let the other person know in good time. It’s just common courtesy. Be a faithful and loyal friend. Don’t gossip about others. As you develop these habits, people will start realising you are consistently straight down the line and they will start feeling safe with you. This is a springboard into developing worthwhile relationships. As you become this kind of person, you will like yourself more and more and the universe will open up for you. You will most probably find you become a more reliable worker in your chosen profession as well, and people will start looking up to you. Doors will open for you in every sphere if you just make the choice. Go out and do it now. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Give what you expect

As a dating mentor and professional dating service owner, I listen very carefully to what people say. Some time back on the Oprah show, one of her guests said that in a relationship, you should only expect of your partner what you can give yourself. This set me thinking. We all make our lists of what we expect in an ideal partner and look very hard to find these qualities. Sadly, we do not always have these qualities ourselves. Just speaking superficially, I have sometimes interviewed overweight men and women who are looking to meet slim partners! This is not even a patch on the vast majority of us who often have unrealistic expectations. Once again we can go back to the Law of Attraction. Like a magnet attracts iron filings, we will attract people with qualities that reside within our own selves. This makes it all the more important to better ourselves as best we can in order to attract the kind of partner we want. We need to become more aware of who we are ourselves and what we can offer before we start making demands of other people. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Follow your intuition

In my experience as a professional dating service owner, I come across many people who ignore their intuition. Indeed, society almost teaches us to ignore it. Well-meaning friends and family impress their values on us and easily convince us that we are wrong and that they are right. We do not have enough confidence in our own judgement to follow what we think is right. This applies in particular to whom we date and marry. It’s almost as if our friends and family must be satisfied that we have made the right choice before we ourselves can be happy about it. Glenda* and Jack* were just such a couple. Although Glenda’s parents always allowed her to live her own life and make her own choices, she was greatly influenced by peer pressure to settle down with Jack, who met with her friends’ approval. She had had her doubts about Jack at the time, but in their group of friends they all had so much fun that she ignored that still, small voice that was telling her that Jack was not the right person for her. Ten years after marrying him she had grown as a person, met other friends who had other standards, and Jack no longer measured up. They went for counselling, and it was there that Glenda started learning to appreciate her own values and ideas, and to be emotionally more independent. She and Jack did finally split up, but she now has a much better idea of who she is as a person and what she wants out of life and a future partner. She is still learning to listen to her own intuition and not the opinions of her friends, and has progressed considerably since the days when she first got married. Yes, we all want a partner who will fit in with our friends and family, but not at the expense of compromising our own values and standards, which may be different to theirs, and not at the expense of choosing someone who we in any way feel uneasy about. Choosing a life partner is a monumental decision. We need to develop our sixth sense, be sensitive to it and use it carefully and constructively when making this choice. This may involve taking a stance that will make us stand out as different from everyone else. Only we will know in our heart of hearts what is right for us. So have courage and stand up for what you know is right for you as a unique individual. You may save yourself years of heartache. *Names have been changed © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Fidelity in a relationship

In the course of my work as a professional dating service owner and relationship coach, people tell me very interesting stories. Take the case of Ingrid*, a client I coached a year ago. She told me she had been in what she thought was an idyllic relationship, only to find that her partner had cheated on her. When she first realised what was going on, she was very upset and indignant. Then she thought back on a time when she had had an affair with a married man, never dreaming what hurt she was doing to his wife. Now the chickens had come home to roost. What goes around comes around. Before we embark on any suspect behaviour, we need to put ourselves in the shoes of all parties concerned and know that sooner or later there will be repercussions, because we only get what we deserve. I have seen in my own family where an injustice was done that it took 20 years for the wheel to turn, but turn it eventually did. Newton’s Third Law states that to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. This holds true not only in the physical domain but in the emotional and spiritual spheres too. These days it is very easy to be unfaithful to one’s partner. Think twice before you do it, because the person it will eventually hurt will be you. *Name has been changed. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch Would you love to meet your soulmate this year still? One out of every three people who join Perfect Strangers meets someone special through us! I shall discuss these statistics with you in more detail when you come to see me. If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Don't misrepresent yourself

When we date, most of us try to put our best foot forward to make a good impression on our dates, especially the first time we make contact or actually meet. To my surprise the other day, I found out that Jimmy*, a client of mine has been giving ladies totally the wrong impression. He is a very modest, low-key kind of a person, but has been taking this to the extreme. He happens to be a very successful factory owner and has four degrees, but has been telling my ladies that he is a factory worker! I also know of people who exaggerate to the opposite extreme and make out as if they are someone far better than who they really are. Well, I have news for you: Your sins will find you out! There will come a time when you will have to drop the pretence. You may do this by accident, or someone may find you out anyway. Either way, you have gone to a lot of trouble and stress to just waste your time. Just be who you are and don’t misrepresent yourself. Don’t make things complicated for yourself or your date. Life is complicated enough without making it more so. It pays to be honest – it is far less trouble in the long run. Don’t be overly modest and don’t brag. Tell the truth. There is always someone out there who will love you just as you are, warts and all. The saying “Elke pot het ‘n deksel” is really true! *Name has been changed © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Don't have expectations

As a professional dating service owner, I come across plenty of people who have great expectations when it comes to dating. If it is not they themselves who are placing the expectations, it is well-meaning friends and family. One of my clients, (let’s call her Jill*), was going out with a guy (let’s call him Jeremy*) some years back. They had a lot of fun together and became very fond of each other as time went by. After about a year her friends and family started asking questions about when they would be getting married etc. Jill then started putting pressure on Jeremy to marry her and it is then that their relationship started going downhill. Because they had been going out for a year and people were asking questions, she then automatically expected that they should marry. Jeremy had reasons of his own why he was not ready, and if he had not been pressurised, would probably have got around to it in time. But Jill was like a dog with a bone and would not relax and let the matter drop. In time Jeremy felt totally overwhelmed and then backed out of the relationship and Jill chalked up a failed relationship to her slate. If only she had relaxed and appreciated what she had. If only she had not taken notice of her family and friends. All too often we forget about enjoying the present and focus on some future event which we feel should be taking place. Now is all we have. No matter how hard we think about it or plan, the future is uncertain. Now is a certainty. How we live today determines our future. Let’s make the most of today and appreciate what we have right now. If we live in gratitude and appreciation the universe is likely to bless us with even more abundance. The choice is ours! *Names have been changed © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Don't compare

In my experience as a professional dating service owner, I often see people comparing their dates to their previous partner(s). This is a process none of us can resist, but is it a good thing to do? A client of mine (Let’s call him Hardus*), who was widowed a few years ago comes to mind. He was very happily married and idolised his wife. Somehow he just can’t seem to find someone else he feels he can be happy with. He is a wonderful man and has met many wonderful women through my service, but just can’t seem to settle down. It is as if he has never found closure with his deceased wife and that he just cannot let her go and move on. Often we idealise someone in the past as being just perfect for us. If this relationship never worked out and we move on, somehow nobody else after that is able to measure up. This type of situation can really shoot us in the foot when meeting new dates. We make snap judgements about them based on assumptions which often are not valid. We do our date and ourselves a disservice. We ourselves would not like to be compared to someone else and found wanting, and yet we readily do this to others. We can then miss out on having the marvellous experience of getting to know someone completely different, who is just as wonderful as our previous partner(s), and who has things to offer which we may never even have dreamed of! Yes, we definitely need to keep an open mind when meeting new dates. An example I used in a recent blog emphasises this. I wrote that each one of us is like a flower, with our own unique colour, shape and exquisite perfume. We cannot say that one flower is better than another, they are just all different. Let’s celebrate our differences and appreciate what each new person has to offer! *Name has been changed © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Do the thing you fear

As a professional dating service owner, I get to hear the personal stories of many of my clients. A particularly heartwarming story was told to me last week: A 35 year old guy, Piet*, had been married for the last 10 years. He had tried very hard to make a success of his marriage, but his wife’s behaviour had spiralled out of control in recent years. To make a long story short she had been taking drugs and was without work. The thing he feared most was looming uppermost in his mind: he was about to lose his wife. In short, their marriage did come to an end. But now, a year later, he has a very interesting perspective on it: He discovered that the whole process was not as bad as he had feared it would be, and that he had actually coped quite well. Now that he has more or less put it behind him, he even sees it as a blessing in disguise! For a long time he thought he would never be interested in women again, but to his surprise, this last month he has been feeling that he would like to date again. Understandably he is very cautious and would just like to make friends, but isn’t it wonderful how time and circumstances can actually be powerful healing influences? Sometimes we fear losing a partner so much that we continue on dead-end street for many years. We are afraid that we will never again meet someone special and that we will be very lonely without that person. We humans are very resilient, however, and it is really true that the universe arranges all things for good, if only we would believe it. Sometimes it is necessary to take a step of faith and do the thing we fear. Not only do our circumstances usually improve, but we gain a confidence we would never have had. So if you find yourself in similar circumstances, remember Piet’s story. Take a leap of faith and do the thing you fear. You will discover that the worst thing to be afraid of is not the thing that you are about to do, but the actual fear itself! *Name has been changed © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Be an original

So often in the course of my duties as a professional dating service owner, I come across people who are afraid to be themselves. They find it easier to fit in with what everyone else is doing and feel they have to live up to others’ expectations, and so find themselves conforming to “the norm”. They feel that if they are the same as everyone else, they are more likely to find a suitable partner. No, no, no! We were made to be originals, and it is true that as they say in Afrikaans: “Elke pot het ‘n deksel”. I remember being quite hurt years ago when someone said to me: “’n Skewe pot sal ook sy deksel kry!” Now when I look back, I am pleased to say that I have always had interesting boyfriends. In all honesty I would not be attracted to a conventional man. There are many of us out there who enjoy partners who are “different”. So why are we so hesitant to be “different” ourselves? Let’s rather celebrate our uniqueness than be carbon copies. When I look at the ladies on my books, I always think of them as flowers, each one with a different, colour, shape, perfume, etc, but each one with an exquisite beauty of her own. In reality, people love someone who is original and different, and the ones that aren’t attracted to you are ones you can pass by. Be yourself, and you will always find that you draw the “right” people to you. Relax and enjoy yourself just the way you are! © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

All that glitters is not gold

In my 15 years of experience as a professional dating service owner, I have come across many people who are attracted by material things. For example, a woman may say she would like to meet a good-looking hunk with lots of money and a man may say he wants to meet a woman who is slim and gorgeous. I see from my vantage point of getting to know my clients that this is often a recipe for disaster. The women often find that this kind of man does not appreciate them or treat them well. The men often find that the stunning looking women turn out to be bitches who make their lives a misery. The men and women who look for these qualities often go through a series of failed relationships before they learn to look more for the inner qualities that make a person a good romantic partner. It is not to say that good-looking hunks with lots of money and slim, gorgeous women are all bad. My advice is just to be careful. You may find instead that the so-called “ordinary and boring” people make the best life partners. Every person we meet has something unique and wonderful to offer. So let’s not judge a book by its cover and be more flexible in our choices. We may just be surprised! © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation, 90 minute “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

A good relationship is earned

A myth that a lot of people have bought into is that one day they will look into the eyes of a stranger, see that this person is their soulmate, and walk off happily into a life of bliss. They even think that this is their birthright and feel cheated if it does not happen! I don’t know who taught us to believe this fairytale, but what I do know is that a good relationship is earned. Like with everything else, you have to work hard for it. You do not get capped with a doctorate if you do not first become a diligent student, and then slowly make your way up through all the stages of attaining your lesser degrees until you finally make it to the top. Similarly, if you want a happy relationship, you have to approach it with the best attitude, learn sound dating skills, adopt healthy relationship habits and consistently keep on improving on them etc. until you finally tie the knot with the love of your life. Then the work really starts!! We seldom appreciate anything if we get it for nothing, so there is justice in this system that the universe has arranged for us. In my own life, I know I would not have appreciated my second husband, Bryan, or my present husband so much if romantic relationships had always been easy for me. And I never even think that I myself have “arrived” when it comes to my present marriage, even though it is wonderful in many ways. There are always areas I am spotting where I can improve – it’s an ongoing process. As time goes by, we should always be earning our way towards an even better relationship with our loved one. The alternative is that we and our relationship stagnate, with all the undesirable consequences. The choice is always ours. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

What you focus on you get more of

In 2009 I mentored a client called Helen* through her divorce. When I first spoke to her and assessed her situation, it was clear to me that she spent all her time and energy focusing on her impending divorce, and that the rest of her life was simply passing her by. At the time she was bitterly unhappy and life had indeed turned sour. She had seen a psychologist and counsellors from her church, but there just seemed to be no solutions. She thought that if she started meeting some decent men, that that might help her to feel happier. So she turned to me for some dating and relationship advice, with a view to joining my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, when her divorce was through. It was obvious to me that she needed to get past her problems and gain some inner peace before she could attract anybody remotely like what she had in mind. I asked her what good things there were in her life. Surprisingly enough she could quickly mention at least five positive things about her life (her good health, her well-paying career, her nice home, her children and the relationship she had with her parents). Somehow, amidst all her problems, she had forgotten these wonderful aspects of her life. I told her to take 30 minutes each day and to focus on being grateful for these things (What you focus on you get more of). During these 30 minutes she was to shut out all thoughts of her soon-to-be ex husband and their divorce situation. When we discussed this, she immediately perked up and had something to look forward to each day. Her feedback a week later was that she now realised she had been giving a disproportionate amount of time and energy to her problems, and not enough time to the things that made her happy. She realised that she had been responsible for a lot of her own misery by doing this. As time went by, the intensity of her emotions about the divorce diminished, and she was also able to incorporate in her daily 30 minutes some pleasant dreams about the kind of men she would like to meet in the future. Note made in 2010: It is now a year later and two months ago she joined my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers. Because her focus has dramatically shifted since a year ago, she is giving out a different vibe, attracting good things into her life, and she is a catch for any man. She is enjoying the experience of meeting new people and the men on my books like her immensely. By a simple change in her focus, she turned her life around! Note made in 2012: This is a universal principle that was applied here: What you focus on, you will get more of , and what you ignore usually fades away. * Name has been changed. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Women like security whereas men want a challenge

Running my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, certainly shows me that people have a wide variety of different motives for wanting a special romantic relationship. In general, women seem to focus on having a committed long term relationship, whilst men seem to think more about having fun with their partners and enjoying what each moment brings. Neither approach is wrong. Men and women are just different, and maybe these differences are teaching us to love and appreciate the opposite sex! I cannot stress enough the importance of living in the present moment and enjoying what each moment brings. If we are results oriented in our dating and relationships, we can very easily set ourselves up for disappointment. If our partner senses that we want something from them other than simply the pleasure of their company, we bring issues and complications into the relationship. This can really ruin a friendship that has the potential to become something special. In relationships, women tend to like security whilst men generally want a challenge. We as women all need to realise that our only true security lies within ourselves. Another human simply cannot cater for all our needs. We need to develop the independence to understand and apply this knowledge. I have seen in my practice that a woman who has this kind of mindset is automatically a challenge for her partner. By having this kind of outlook, a woman is more likely to have success in a long term relationship and thus meets her need of a long term commitment from her partner. This is most certainly an excellent way of setting an upward spiral in a potentially good relationship, and it will satisfy the needs of both parties. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

We all like a challenge

When it comes to dating, we always seem to want the one we can’t quite get, the one who we are not sure of. The dates that run after us like puppy dogs all bore us to tears. It is just human nature to pursue something that is elusive. We must be careful and ensure that the person we are pursuing is really worth it, that we won’t end up like a dog that has caught a car and doesn’t know what to do with it! In order to be a challenge, we must ensure that we are not desperate. If we come across as too eager, it can easily kill the attraction our partner feels for us. Women especially need to be on their guard against this as it is still true that a man likes to be the hunter, despite what modern life may lead us to believe. A man who is desperate simply comes across as a wimp, as most women want a strong man that they can look up to. If we have a healthy self-liking and self-respect, we are at least half way there to being a challenge. We should all have a strong support network and lots of good hobbies and interests. These are the things that will help keep us emotionally independent and not desperate. We need to have our own independent and rewarding personal life outside of our work and careers, and outside of any romantic relationships. If we lead this kind of a life we are likely to be seen as desirable and someone worth pursuing. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

The importance of consistency

One of the qualities my clients seem to appreciate most in a partner is someone who is reliable, consistent and congruent. We like to know that this person will usually answer our call, and if they can’t, they will come back to us if we leave a message. We like to know that if we make an arrangement with them, they will honour it, or let us know in time if there is a problem. We like to know that if we have a problem, we can phone this person and they will always be friendly and kind, unless there is really something terrible bothering them, and then they will explain why they are not their usual self. We also like to know that, consistent with their normal behaviour, they will try to help us with this problem, if at all possible. It is important to not only want and expect this kind of behaviour from our date or partner, but to also behave in this way ourselves. Ah, you say, but I like someone who surprises me, who is not predictable. Yes, this is nice too, but within limits. There is a fine balance between being interesting in this way and being downright unreliable and making people feel uneasy around you. Keep all this in mind when entering a new relationship. By following this dating and relationship advice you will show that you can be a good friend, which is a sound basis for any romance. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Treat your partner well

So often I am faced with clients who have regrets about previous relationships. They are sorry about the way they treated their partner and wish they could have a second chance. Life seldom gives us second chances and so the onus is on us not to treat life as a dress rehearsal, but to make the most of each and every opportunity that comes our way, as it might be the only opportunity we ever have. If you have a wonderful partner, be sure to appreciate him/her and not take this person for granted. What we sow we also reap: Be sure to be planting good seeds in your relationship. It is important to treat our partners the way we would like to be treated. Better still, we can even go one better and treat them the way they want to be treated. The chances are, of course, that if you do this, you are likely to receive good treatment in return, and your relationship will go in an upward spiral. This will ensure that you are less likely to live with regrets. I wish you luck with your relationships! © 2009, 2012 Marilyn Welch Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

The role of predictability in a relationship

The word “predictable” carries with it a slightly negative connotation. We tend to think of predictable people as slightly boring and we usually do not want others to think they have completely sussed us out. It is, however, important to be predictable to some degree in your romantic relationship. For example, we all want our partners to be reliable, punctual, honest, dependable, etc., and these are qualities we would do well to cultivate in ourselves. However, to keep a relationship interesting and keep our partner enthralled, we have to sometimes do or say the unexpected thing. Romance thrives on excitement and novelty, and we should bring this to our relationship as much as we can. The trick is to keep a balance when it comes to being predictable, and this we can all do. © 2009, 2012 Marilyn Welch Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Recognising your soulmate

Most of us tend to think that when we meet our soulmate, a siren is going to sound and fireworks will fill the sky! Most of the time, however, this does not happen. A soulmate is someone we want to spend the rest of our lives with and one has to be very careful about choosing this person. Appearance is a big factor when we initially meet, but time reveals who the real person is, and this is the person we must make up our minds about. As time goes by, you build up a shared history of good times and bad. You get into habits and routines and slowly but surely life has a way of pointing you in the direction which is right for you. It is important to live in the present with this person and enjoy each moment. It is not a good idea to be results oriented. Do not try to push situations, but just relax and let the universe gradually lead you to where you are meant to be. I wish you luck in finding this very special person! © 2009, 2012 Marilyn Welch Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Photos can be misleading

Our appearance is always of paramount importance as we never get a second chance to make a first impression. We are not always available in person for people to sum us up, so these days we rely a lot on photos. They abound on internet sites and we make our decisions whether or not to make contact with people based on their photos. In my own profession as a romance expert I personally find that photos can be very misleading. A specific incident comes to mind: One of the men on my books was about to meet one of my ladies, but he insisted on seeing a photo of her first. He asked her to email it to him, which she did. He then phoned me and was most perturbed that I had arranged this meeting. He did not like her face and was most put off. I know the lady in question very well. She is very attractive and in my opinion it was a very nice photo of her. I almost had to beg him to meet her. I knew it was a good match in all ways, including the kind of looks he had requested. He most reluctantly met her. That evening he phoned me and said her photo did not do her justice and that she was absolutely stunning and that they suited each other very well. She also gave me feedback that she was very impressed and that she liked him very much. As we get to know people, they reveal more and more about themselves, and it is like peeling the skin off an onion, layer by layer. It is only when we start reaching the layers close to the core that we can really know whether this person is suited to us or not. Yes, personal appearance is important, but it reveals even less than the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. When we see a photo, we cannot hear that person, we have no idea of the kind of vibes they are sending out, and we make a judgement based on an extremely flimsy piece of evidence. Photos give us a first impression, but we should always bear in mind that there is much more to a person than just their photo. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Never be hasty

So often it happens that someone comes onto my books and is really in a hurry to meet someone special. That is when I see red flags and realise that this person could be on the wrong track. While it is true that my clients often do pair up quickly, it is generally not a good thing when someone is hasty. When you want to meet someone quickly, you are likely to make snap decisions which are not based on a sound foundation. You do not get to know your partner well before committing to a relationship and this can lead to huge regrets as time goes by. It is also likely that there are issues you have not sorted out in your own life, which is essential before committing to a relationship. When my clients relax and take time with their dating, it’s almost as if they get into a kind of “flow”, and what they want seems to come naturally to them. If they are anxious and in a hurry, potential partners seem to flee from them. Once you have released your anxiety about meeting someone, you have set yourself free and you are in a position to receive rather than to experience lack. So sort out in your mind what is bothering you, and approach dating without being too hung-up on results or outcomes. Take your time, have fun, enjoy each moment for what it is, and your lovelife will prosper. © 2009, 2012 Marilyn Welch Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Men and women differ

Men and women differ in many ways, but two of the ways they differ are brought home to me very often: 1. Women are much more particular than men. Think of it. If you line up a whole lot of women against a wall and ask men to choose, they will find it very difficult, as they will like a lot of the women. Just line up a whole lot of men against a wall and ask women to choose, and they will only select one or two from the whole lot. This happens in nature as well. 2. Women commit to a relationship far quicker than men do. So often it happens that a man and a woman are dating on my database and one day the woman phones me and says she no longer wants to meet any more men because she and x are seeing each other. Very often x phones me soon after to ask for another date! It is a good thing that we are different – it makes life interesting! © 2009, 2012 Marilyn Welch Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Men and women desire different things

Today I thought I’d summarise very briefly what men and women want. It is very clear that in essence, their approaches are radically different.

Men are very visually oriented. They will usually make up their minds within 30 seconds whether they are interested in a woman or not. This is based on the woman’s appearance and whether she appeals to him or not. They actually admit that they look at things like personality and character later. (Often too late!)

A woman is likely to give a man a few chances. She will wait to see how he behaves in certain circumstances and how he treats her before she finally makes up her mind. She often doesn’t mind if he is a bit bald or if he has a bit of a tummy. It is important to her that he is kind and that he makes her laugh.

There are some things in life we cannot change, no matter how hard we try. Let’s rather love and forgive each other our differences!

© 2009, 2012 Marilyn Welch

Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you!

Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.

You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Love the person you find

We all find it easy to fall in love. It is such a euphoric experience. Everything seems to come naturally and we are swept away with our giddy feelings. Unfortunately this experience does not last. There comes a time when the things we found so endearing in our partner now start to irritate us, and the person we once elevated falls from the platform we put them on.

We think we will gain happiness once more by finding someone else, or turning to a new hobby or worse, alcohol or drugs. Only to find that some time later, we are once again in the same boat, disillusioned and looking for something new.

Is it not better to learn to love the person you find? Love inevitably sends us someone who will remind us of our issues that we need to work through and there is no point in running away, as the next person we meet will invariably bring up the same issues. Better to work through these issues for once and for all and to have loved someone through thick and thin at the end of the day … That someone that you once thought was such a problem may just turn out to be your soulmate and the partner of your dreams!

© 2009, 2012 Marilyn Welch

Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you!

Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.

You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Love covers a multitude of sins

Love is what makes the world go round, and it is what we all crave, in one form or another. When we are young we get love from our parents and siblings. As we grow older we start making friends and we learn to love them. When we become teenagers we start having love relationships with the opposite sex, and these relationships are normally a challenge for the rest of our lives!

In any relationship, the more good we do our partner and the more love we shower on them, the more “cash” we are likely to have in their “emotional bank account”. (Steven Covey goes into detail about one’s emotional bank account in his book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”). If we have a lot of cash in someone’s emotional bank account and we only make occasional withdrawals (like sometimes treating them a bit unfairly), the bank account will remain relatively healthy. If we do something really dreadful to our partner, it amounts to a huge withdrawal, and the bank account may end up in the red! In a relationship, the trick is to maintain a healthy bank balance in both partners’ emotional bank accounts. In the Bible it states that love covers a multitude of sins. That is certainly true. If you know that your partner loves you and treats you well, you are likely to ignore minor things that he/she does wrong. This all adds up to a happy and healthy relationship.

© 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch

Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you!

Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.

You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Learn to enjoy your own company

We all dream of the day that we will have a special partner who will keep us company through thick and thin. We feel somehow that he or she will complete us, make us whole, and that we will never be lonely again.

That may be true, but before we start looking for that partner, it would be a very good idea if we could learn to enjoy our own company first. Once we have a good self-image, and a certain degree of self-confidence, it is then usually easier to amuse ourselves when we are alone. We have then (hopefully) developed some good interests and maybe we even have a few passions that are fulfilling us. This makes us interesting people, people with a mission and something to offer, who will then easily draw the right partner to us via the law of attraction.

The law of attraction is like a magnet, so if we desire to have good company, we must be good company ourselves and also know how to keep ourselves busy with worthwhile endeavours. (If we want our dream partner to have a certain quality, then, to be fair, we must be able to offer them the same quality ourselves.) Then we have earned the right to have a partner who is also good company.

© 2011 Marilyn Welch. Updated 2012

Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you!

Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.

You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Keep an open mind

So often we go on a date with all sorts of expectations. We have a list of what we want and what we don’t want and some of us are quite rigid in sticking to that list. But people are full of surprises and it is difficult to put them in boxes. We ourselves would like others to give us a chance when meeting us, so we need to afford them the same opportunity.

Some people are quick and easy to get to know and others take their time in allowing us close. I myself nearly missed an opportunity when I met my fiancee. He did not show all his cards in the beginning and because of that I nearly overlooked him. Thank heavens I gave him a second chance, because as time went by I discovered more and more things about him that I really like, and today we are very happy.

And then there is chemistry … If a spark ignites between two people, the “list” often flies out the window and the most unlikely people can pair up and be blissfully happy. Here we need to keep an open mind in the sense that we must be on the lookout for the negatives in this case, as our feeling of being “in love” may lead us into big trouble!

So keep your eyes wide open whilst expecting the best of your date. Be flexible and enjoy each moment.

© 2009 Marilyn Welch. Updated 2012.

Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you!

Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.

You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

If you spot it, you've got it!

Some time ago, I introduced two ladies with similar profiles to exactly the same men. One of the ladies loved the men and had such fun meeting them. The other lady could only find fault with them. I introduced them to exactly the same people! So what was the problem? Was there something wrong with the men?

It just so happens that we see people not as they are, but as we are. We notice things in others that we identify with, things that are part of our own makeup. If there are things in ourselves that we are not happy with, we notice them in others, and these qualities irritate us speechless. People reflect back to us the things we don’t like and we think that they are at fault and not us.

The universe crafts situations in such a way that we are constantly given opportunities to learn and grow as individuals. The people we find fault with are often our best teachers. They give us the opportunities to change for the better and transcend ourselves, if we so choose.

I have lost contact with the fault-finding lady, but the one who had so much fun is now engaged to be married to the man of her dreams! When we see the best in life and people, the universe is eager to give us back what we deserve.

© 2010 Marilyn Welch. Updated 2012.

Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you!

Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.

You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

A good way to approach a relationship

I am often asked: “Will I recognise my soulmate immediately or will it take time to realise if my partner is my true soulmate?”

My instinct is to go for the second option. So often we meet people we are instantly attracted to, only to find with time that they make a disastrous partner. The chemistry is there in a big way, but so are the multiple problems that go with it. It is important to have some kind of spark between the two of you, but not at such a cost.

If you take the time to get to know someone, something very special can happen between the two of you. The emphasis here is on time and lots of it. The universe has plenty of time and it is a good thing to let it gently unfold. Savour each moment of getting to know someone and don’t be results-oriented. Enjoy what each day brings to your relationship and don’t let issues and baggage drag you down.

If you have this approach, you will have a deep-seated serenity and you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that your life is perfect and that everything is happening the way it should. You will be content with your life in general and you will attract good things to yourself.

It’s good that we don’t know the future, because this makes life an adventure. It is a friendly universe and things are definitely working out for the good of all of us. This is the only way worth thinking. “As a man thinketh, so is he … “ Whatever you perceive to be true will happen for you. Just trust that this applies to your love life as well and always look at the glass as if it were half full, rather than half empty.

I wish each one of you reading this a truly magnificent partner!

© 2009 Marilyn Welch. Updated 2012

Would you love to meet your soulmate in this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you!

Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.

You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.