You decided your own dating future

In the course of running my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, I see time and again that people hold their dating future in their own hands. They themselves determine what is going to happen to them. Firstly by joining my service, they make a commitment to meet partners, which puts them squarely in the running for meeting a possible soulmate. Secondly, their attitude, positive or negative, determines the outcome of the dates they go on. The way they handle how their dates go now also determines their long term future when it comes to relationships. I have seen men being slow to commit to women, only to lose them to someone else and be very sorry they lost their chance. I have seen women become embittered when their relationships do not work out, and this attitude sabotages any relationships they may have in the future. I have seen clients who look for the best in their partners, and who find it. I have seen clients who are patient and confident that they will get what they want, only to find that the Law of Attraction really works and that they ultimately meet and marry the partner of their dreams. Yes, our attitude determines our dating future, and we alone are responsible for our decisions. © 2010, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate in 2013? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Who are your role models?

When we date, we tend to fall into certain relationship habits, some good, some not so good. Even though we start out with the best of intentions, we often end up doing just what we said we would not do. Without meaning to, we often copy the examples our role models have taught us. Be very careful of the role models you choose. Obviously we had no choice when it came to our parents. You may have come from a happy home, and then it may be good to follow your parents’ example. Not many of us were that fortunate, and we often have to guard against copying what our parents did. Possibly the worst kinds of role models are to be found in the soap operas and in the media. It is easy to worship the material standards they represent, but in reality their romantic relationships and home lives are not necessarily the kind we would like to have for ourselves. When it comes to healthy romantic relationships, we should choose role models who have stood the test of time. Perhaps you know of a couple who have been happily married for years. Ask them the secrets to having a happy relationship. These are the people to emulate and to ask advice. Let them lead you by their example. They will most probably tell you that a relationship can at times be hard work, but that they never gave up. Whichever way you look at it, there are no instant results. We need to start our relationships with good habits, keep them up and even improve on them as time goes by. The chances are you will reap the rewards for a very long time. The bottom line is that we need to be very careful whom we choose as role models. The behaviour we copy can affect us and our relationships to the very end of our lives. Not only that, it can affect our children’s lives for a long time as well! So choose your role models well, and tread very carefully, because other people may be looking to you in turn as their example! © 2010, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate in 2013? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

What are your motives?

Some time back an old client of mine, Gerrie*, renewed his membership with Perfect Strangers, my professional dating service. (Old clients often renew their memberships with me because they know that they meet wonderful people through me and they know that I look after them well.) He told me that a female client of mine, Leonie* had broken his heart. As far as I knew they had split up a few months earlier, but I did not know why. He told me that he was madly in love with her, but that she was in a hurry and wanted to get married. He felt that there was no rush and that it was better to take things slowly. Someone else had intervened and Leonie had paired off with this person rather, thinking that her objective of getting married would now be fulfilled. Gerrie felt that she had an ulterior motive in going out with him: that of getting married, and that she did not really love him just for who he was as a person. Being in the middle, I can see the situation from both sides. Leonie felt she had been going out with him long enough and she had felt entitled to a commitment from him. As far as he was concerned, there was an unspoken commitment and he absolutely adored her. Wasn’t that enough for the shorter term? Leonie may or may not be happy with the guy she is with now - this I don’t know. But what I do know is that she gave up on somebody who really loved her because she had an ulterior motive: that of getting married. Gerrie felt that she did not really appreciate him and that if she had loved him in the same way that he loved her, she should have waited. We can debate for hours on end about who was right and who was wrong. The point I am trying to get across is that it is probably better to approach relationships without an agenda. If we do, we are results oriented, and we focus on what WE want instead of what’s good for the relationship and for the other person. It’s really better when dating to enjoy and savour each moment, leaving the results to the universe to sort out. Then things normally happen for the best. LOVE is what a relationship is all about, and the sooner we relax about it, the better for both parties. The purer your motives, the better it will be for you in every way. *Names have been changed. © 2010, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate in 2013? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.