We are all looking for that ideal partner, someone we can look up to and someone who we can see ourselves spending a lot of time with. A lot of us are also wondering just how we can meet this person. There is a way in which we are likely to meet this person, and it involves The Law of Attraction.
The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like, so what this boils down to is that we are very likely to attract a partner(s) who is similar to us. So basically we ourselves must BE the type of people we wish to attract.
A lot of us have long lists of what we require in a partner, never dreaming that if we do not get our own house in order, that person is very unlikely to appear. I have people all the time telling me that they want to meet someone who is honest, slim, someone who has little or no baggage, and they do not stop to ask themselves whether they also have these qualities. Food for thought …
There are also those people who take a person at face value. First impressions are important, and there is basic, sensible behaviour that should be adhered to at a first meeting, but not all people show all their cards the first time we meet them.
It is therefore a good idea to get to know a person gradually. As the layers of an onion can be peeled off one by one, so we can get to know a person. The true person and character is only revealed with time. I myself never judge my clients the first time I meet them, because a few months later I can have a totally different impression of them. During this time I have had many interactions with them and occasionally it turns out that they are a completely different person to what I had thought, and I have been doing this business for 14 years already!
I myself almost bypassed the person I am happy with today for this exact same reason. There were no fireworks when we met, and I hastily assumed that he was not the one for me. A year later when we met up again, I decided to give him a chance, only to find out with time that we are very well matched. I had grown as a person before I met him the second time, and therefore had the maturity to appreciate him more.
So we all need to work on ourselves and not make too hasty judgements about potential partners we meet.
© 2009 Marilyn Welch
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!
Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Dating Service and a sought after Relationship Coach specialising in social skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Relationships are learning experiences
Perhaps dating is not only about trying out and discarding partners who aren’t a perfect fit for us, but about learning relationship skills. As we grow into adults, we stop bringing an attitude of discovery and learning to our relationships. Instead we bring an attitude of evaluation and expectations. The only thing we want to discover is whether this is the right person for us. We’re less interested in learning skills that will help us be better partners for our future lovers, and more interested in evaluating whether we want to keep being in this particular relationship. No wonder relationships stop being so much fun!
If you’re in a difficult relationship with someone that you don’t have fun with anymore, your immediate impulse is going to be to get out of the relationship. Obviously the relationship isn’t “right” for you because it’s hard work and unpleasant! But perhaps these challenges are actually proof that you’re in the “perfect” relationship for you at that particular time. Perhaps these challenges are actually teaching you exactly what you need to improve your understanding and move to the next stage in your personal growth.
On the one hand this makes sense. When things are easy, you can just flow. You don’t have to think too much. You can just enjoy things. But when things are hard, you have to think about how you’re relating to your partner. You have to work through things. Your coping skills are put to the test. In other words, the harder a relationship is, the more learning opportunities you have. In short, as long as you focus on what the relationship is trying to teach you, no relationship is ever wasted.
And so the most valuable relationship is the one in which you learn the most … not necessarily the one that lasts the longest. Relationships can thus be viewed as learning tools. Every relationship, whether good or bad, teaches us new skills.
So if the real reason for a relationship isn’t finding “The One” … if it isn’t getting married someday … if it isn’t partnering with someone to raise a family … what is it? Perhaps the real purpose of relationships is to attract people to us in order to stimulate and support our growth and evolution as a being. And so the person we attract to us is exactly the person we need to teach us exactly what we need to learn at that point in our lives. Food for thought …
What is your relationship teaching you? What has each one of your past relationships taught you? If you can approach your current or future relationships as learning experiences, rather than as win-lose situations where you “win” if you stay together and “lose” if you break up, then you may just find that you feel a lot better about them. You may just find that you’re attracting better and better partners … because YOU are becoming a better and better person yourself.
Don’t: Think that a relationship has to be perfect for it to be worth the trouble.
Do: Regard relationships as learning experiences and grow from them.
I wish you luck with your relationships!
© 2009 Marilyn Welch
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!
Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Dating Service and a sought after Relationship Coach specialising in social skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
If you’re in a difficult relationship with someone that you don’t have fun with anymore, your immediate impulse is going to be to get out of the relationship. Obviously the relationship isn’t “right” for you because it’s hard work and unpleasant! But perhaps these challenges are actually proof that you’re in the “perfect” relationship for you at that particular time. Perhaps these challenges are actually teaching you exactly what you need to improve your understanding and move to the next stage in your personal growth.
On the one hand this makes sense. When things are easy, you can just flow. You don’t have to think too much. You can just enjoy things. But when things are hard, you have to think about how you’re relating to your partner. You have to work through things. Your coping skills are put to the test. In other words, the harder a relationship is, the more learning opportunities you have. In short, as long as you focus on what the relationship is trying to teach you, no relationship is ever wasted.
And so the most valuable relationship is the one in which you learn the most … not necessarily the one that lasts the longest. Relationships can thus be viewed as learning tools. Every relationship, whether good or bad, teaches us new skills.
So if the real reason for a relationship isn’t finding “The One” … if it isn’t getting married someday … if it isn’t partnering with someone to raise a family … what is it? Perhaps the real purpose of relationships is to attract people to us in order to stimulate and support our growth and evolution as a being. And so the person we attract to us is exactly the person we need to teach us exactly what we need to learn at that point in our lives. Food for thought …
What is your relationship teaching you? What has each one of your past relationships taught you? If you can approach your current or future relationships as learning experiences, rather than as win-lose situations where you “win” if you stay together and “lose” if you break up, then you may just find that you feel a lot better about them. You may just find that you’re attracting better and better partners … because YOU are becoming a better and better person yourself.
Don’t: Think that a relationship has to be perfect for it to be worth the trouble.
Do: Regard relationships as learning experiences and grow from them.
I wish you luck with your relationships!
© 2009 Marilyn Welch
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!
Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Dating Service and a sought after Relationship Coach specialising in social skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
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