When we start a relationship, all is moonshine and roses. That delicious euphoria of being in love takes over and we are totally besotted with our partners. With time, however, that feeling fades, and hopefully we have built a good enough foundation for the relationship to last. We should have kept up the romance and made it a habit, and with a bit of luck we may also find out that we are compatible with our partner.
It is important at this stage not to let your relationship become one of drudgery. Life is unpredictable and can often be downright lousy, but let your relationship be one area where you find enjoyment and satisfaction. We can get so serious in our everyday life. Wouldn’t it be nice if our relationship was one where we could laugh a lot, flirt and have a whole lot of fun?
Marriage counsellors often say that the couples who play together stay together. That is food for thought. Not all of us are clowns who can always be jovial and tell a lot of jokes, but we can all at least be open to the humorous side of life. Sometimes we can get into sticky situations in our relationships, and if we can at least laugh at ourselves, it just makes things a whole lot better.
It is also important to keep on flirting with your partner throughout your relationship, even if you have been married for fifty years! This helps keep the spice in your relationship and reminds you why you got together in the first place. Keep your partner guessing a little bit and even play innocent tricks on him/her. Of course, we all love to tease our partners, and this is a good thing as long as we don’t become personal and hurt their feelings. We also all love pleasant surprises, so make an effort to be innovative and be open to trying new things.
Don’t: Get stuck in the same old boring habits in your relationship.
Do: Always be on the lookout for humour in your relationship.
© 2009 Marilyn Welch
Would you still like to meet your soulmate this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “get-acquainted” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you!
Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Coach specialising in social skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
The power of NOW in your relationship
The famous author Eckhart Tolle has written a very thought-provoking book called “The Power of Now”. Some of what he writes is very applicable to our relationships. We have a constant stream of thoughts in our minds, always based on something in the past or future, and we very seldom enjoy each moment as it arrives in our lives.
It would be wise to apply the principles in this book to our relationships. The present (now) is actually all we have. This very moment is complete and in it we have everything to make us happy. If we dwell on the past or are always dreaming of what may happen in the future, we are likely to make ourselves unhappy.
Tolle states that if we are unhappy with our situation, we can do one of three things: Walk away, change our circumstances or simply accept them as they are and decide to be content with them.
Some of us are fretting because we are not in a relationship, which is something we intensely desire. If this is the case, we should first and foremost accept what IS and make peace with it. Secondly, we can occupy our minds with good thoughts and find constructive things to keep ourselves busy. Best of all, if we find an interest we can be passionate about, this will do a lot to keep us busy and our minds will not be preoccupied with discontented thoughts.
If we are in a relationship that is not working out and we dislike our current circumstances, we can walk away or start changing things. A good place to start changing things is with our attitude. Are we anxious because we are focused on a result of some kind in our relationship? If so, we are focusing on the future and not on the now. Are we overreacting to something that is happening in our relationship because of something that happened in the past? Then we are dwelling on the past and also not living in the now. As you can see, both scenarios are a recipe for unhappiness. As I have said in many previous newsletters and blogs, have fun and enjoy your dating and don’t think that you need to see a result of some kind (like a marriage proposal) to make you happy.
If we drop thoughts of the past and the future and simply enjoy each moment as it arrives, we are much more likely to love life and be happy. We will have a lot more fun and life will be easier in general. Where do all these thoughts of the past and the future get us? Precisely nowhere, that’s where. Yes, it is important to plan for the future and also learn from our mistakes, but not at the expense of seldom enjoying what is happening in each moment, particularly when it comes to our relationships.
Don’t: Take your relationship or your present circumstances for granted.
Do: Savour and appreciate each moment as it arrives.
© 2009 Marilyn Welch
Would you still like to meet your soulmate this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “get-acquainted” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you!
Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Coach specialising in social skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
It would be wise to apply the principles in this book to our relationships. The present (now) is actually all we have. This very moment is complete and in it we have everything to make us happy. If we dwell on the past or are always dreaming of what may happen in the future, we are likely to make ourselves unhappy.
Tolle states that if we are unhappy with our situation, we can do one of three things: Walk away, change our circumstances or simply accept them as they are and decide to be content with them.
Some of us are fretting because we are not in a relationship, which is something we intensely desire. If this is the case, we should first and foremost accept what IS and make peace with it. Secondly, we can occupy our minds with good thoughts and find constructive things to keep ourselves busy. Best of all, if we find an interest we can be passionate about, this will do a lot to keep us busy and our minds will not be preoccupied with discontented thoughts.
If we are in a relationship that is not working out and we dislike our current circumstances, we can walk away or start changing things. A good place to start changing things is with our attitude. Are we anxious because we are focused on a result of some kind in our relationship? If so, we are focusing on the future and not on the now. Are we overreacting to something that is happening in our relationship because of something that happened in the past? Then we are dwelling on the past and also not living in the now. As you can see, both scenarios are a recipe for unhappiness. As I have said in many previous newsletters and blogs, have fun and enjoy your dating and don’t think that you need to see a result of some kind (like a marriage proposal) to make you happy.
If we drop thoughts of the past and the future and simply enjoy each moment as it arrives, we are much more likely to love life and be happy. We will have a lot more fun and life will be easier in general. Where do all these thoughts of the past and the future get us? Precisely nowhere, that’s where. Yes, it is important to plan for the future and also learn from our mistakes, but not at the expense of seldom enjoying what is happening in each moment, particularly when it comes to our relationships.
Don’t: Take your relationship or your present circumstances for granted.
Do: Savour and appreciate each moment as it arrives.
© 2009 Marilyn Welch
Would you still like to meet your soulmate this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “get-acquainted” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you!
Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Coach specialising in social skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
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