Often clients who join my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, tell me that they like to “give their all” in a relationship, or that they like really “spoiling” their partner. Despite this dedicated approach, they have not managed to be in a successful relationship. Why is this?
Too often when we go into a relationship, we find that either we or our partner or giving too much. This is a recipe for failure, as a successful relationship is a balanced relationship, where there is equal giving and receiving.
When we give more than our partners, we like to think we want nothing in return, but actually deep down we want a return on our investment very badly, and in the long term we feel cheated if our giving has not been reciprocated.
Worse still, our partner may see our giving as a means whereby they are controlled, and they may feel obligated to return the favours in some way, which takes away from the freedom of a loving relationship.
Women especially tend to give more in a relationship. It is their natural instinct as nurturers and caregivers. This giving of their all often results in losing the man of their dreams, as men naturally like to be the hunters.
Similarly, a man who spoils his girlfriend or wife disproportionately may find that his favours are not appreciated and that she takes him for granted. The relationship is not in balance and love flies out the window.
This world is not perfect, but in this world everything is in perfect balance. If we want our relationship to be successful, we need to be vigilant about keeping it in good balance. Apply this principle of balance with the giving and receiving in your relationship. You will be in tune with the natural harmony of the universe and your relationship is more likely to go in an upward spiral.
© 2010 Marilyn Welch
I am making a special once-off Christmas offer to clients who enrol with Perfect Strangers between now and 31 December 2011: In addition to their normal membership, each client will also receive:
a) 20 Written Laser "Prepare to Meet Your Soulmate" Coaching sessions (one per week in your personal email inbox)(Value R1500-00). These inspiring teachings will coach you through any stumbling blocks you may experience in attracting and keeping the love of your life. (It will be the first time I am publishing these teachings!)
b) Each client will receive 2 extra months on their membership which will give them an additional window to meet their soulmate
NB: The first 20 clients who enrol will each receive a fabulous surprise bonus (Value R300). Remember to ask for this bonus when you apply.
Make use of this special offer before 31 December 2011 by contacting me for a FREE one-hour “Find Your Soulmate” session. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Marilyn Welch can be contacted personally on 0825598322 or at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
A good self-image promotes healthy relationships
Two weeks ago I bumped into Alison, a client I coached four years ago. At the time she was in a toxic relationship and was very unhappy. Together we had worked through a lot of her issues, but her primary problem was that she did not think well of herself and thus allowed people to treat her badly. She was struggling to find the strength to set proper boundaries with her boyfriend as she was scared she would lose him.
Catching up on her news I was very glad to hear that she had finally got rid of the old boyfriend and that she had had two relatively happy relationships since then and that she was now engaged to be married to a guy that “treats her like a queen”. She said it had been a gradual process, but that she now realises we only allow others to treat us badly to the extent that we treat ourselves badly. Without being selfish or conceited in any way it is better for us and for all our friends if we have a healthy self-respect and good self-image. We will also never be happy with our circumstances until we are happy with ourselves. It is true that if we expect the best we will get the best. Expect and command the best treatment from all the people you meet, remembering that you need to treat them with respect and consideration as well. With this kind of attitude, your relationships are likely to go in an upward spiral and you will be a far happier person for it.
© 2010 Marilyn Welch
Would you still like to meet your soulmate this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you!
Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Coach specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
Catching up on her news I was very glad to hear that she had finally got rid of the old boyfriend and that she had had two relatively happy relationships since then and that she was now engaged to be married to a guy that “treats her like a queen”. She said it had been a gradual process, but that she now realises we only allow others to treat us badly to the extent that we treat ourselves badly. Without being selfish or conceited in any way it is better for us and for all our friends if we have a healthy self-respect and good self-image. We will also never be happy with our circumstances until we are happy with ourselves. It is true that if we expect the best we will get the best. Expect and command the best treatment from all the people you meet, remembering that you need to treat them with respect and consideration as well. With this kind of attitude, your relationships are likely to go in an upward spiral and you will be a far happier person for it.
© 2010 Marilyn Welch
Would you still like to meet your soulmate this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you!
Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Coach specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Does your partner meet your needs?
We all dream of that special partner who will love and understand us and meet all our needs. We also all need to come down to earth and realise that we as well as our partners are both imperfect human beings and that it is totally impossible for one person to meet ALL our needs.
So how do we find that someone special and cultivate an atmosphere in which we can both be happy?
It takes quite a while to get to know someone and to find out if we can be happy with them or not. If after six months we feel that our partner meets 80% of our needs, we are indeed fortunate. We also need to bear in mind that as time goes by our needs change and develop, so that is an added complication. If we are not the demanding type and live in gratitude, our needs will be less. We will focus on what is already good and build on that. Then our relationship goes in an upward spiral and we are very blessed.
No matter how wonderful our partner is, he/she will not be able to meet all our needs. It is up to us to fulfil our own needs or find same-sex friends and family who will meet the gap. That is why it is important to be a well-rounded person before you enter any romantic relationship. If one comes into a new relationship as a happy and whole person, and already knows how to get one’s needs met through a variety of different people, it takes pressure off the relationship, things are more likely to run smoothly and our relationship will be easy and pleasurable.
It is also important to be happy with the fact that in anything worthwhile in life we cannot have our cake and eat it. We need to be faithful to our partners if we want a winning relationship. If we want a fulfilling relationship, it may be a good idea to give up intimate friendships with others of the opposite sex. The idea is to give up these friendships for something that is better and more rewarding. Our partner will always appreciate our fidelity. Once we have made peace with this concept, we will be far happier in our relationship.
Don’t: Expect your partner to be perfect
Do: Practice appreciation and fidelity in your relationship
© 2010 Marilyn Welch
Would you still like to meet your soulmate this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation "Find Your Soulmate" session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you!
Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Coach specialising in social skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
So how do we find that someone special and cultivate an atmosphere in which we can both be happy?
It takes quite a while to get to know someone and to find out if we can be happy with them or not. If after six months we feel that our partner meets 80% of our needs, we are indeed fortunate. We also need to bear in mind that as time goes by our needs change and develop, so that is an added complication. If we are not the demanding type and live in gratitude, our needs will be less. We will focus on what is already good and build on that. Then our relationship goes in an upward spiral and we are very blessed.
No matter how wonderful our partner is, he/she will not be able to meet all our needs. It is up to us to fulfil our own needs or find same-sex friends and family who will meet the gap. That is why it is important to be a well-rounded person before you enter any romantic relationship. If one comes into a new relationship as a happy and whole person, and already knows how to get one’s needs met through a variety of different people, it takes pressure off the relationship, things are more likely to run smoothly and our relationship will be easy and pleasurable.
It is also important to be happy with the fact that in anything worthwhile in life we cannot have our cake and eat it. We need to be faithful to our partners if we want a winning relationship. If we want a fulfilling relationship, it may be a good idea to give up intimate friendships with others of the opposite sex. The idea is to give up these friendships for something that is better and more rewarding. Our partner will always appreciate our fidelity. Once we have made peace with this concept, we will be far happier in our relationship.
Don’t: Expect your partner to be perfect
Do: Practice appreciation and fidelity in your relationship
© 2010 Marilyn Welch
Would you still like to meet your soulmate this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation "Find Your Soulmate" session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you!
Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Coach specialising in social skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Remain independent when in a relationship
It is vitally important for the success of any relationship for both partners to remain as financially and emotionally independent as possible. The less we need our partners for anything, the more we are able to enjoy each other’s company. If we are financially independent, we seek each other’s company for the pure fun and pleasure of being with that person, and we have no ulterior motives or second agendas in working on our relationship.
A problem often arises with women in that they become so involved with their partners as their relationship progresses, that they often lose their emotional independence. They can often forget that they have interests of their own as they take on their partner’s interests. They often give up arrangements they have made with their female friends in order to spend time with their boyfriends. They forget their own value and importance as time goes by and put their partners on pedestals. By doing all these things, they lose their emotional independence and are no longer the independent woman their partners knew when they first met. They thus become less attractive in their partner’s eyes and he starts to lose interest. This is a very subtle, insidious process, and deadly if a woman wants to keep her relationship healthy. As he loses attraction for her and starts pulling away, she starts to pursue him which makes him want to pull still further away. He then also starts acting differently and they both wonder where their wonderful romance went to. This is a terrible, negative spiral which can be avoided by women not slipping into the bad habits I mentioned earlier in this paragraph and retaining their emotional independence and wonderful life they had before they met their boyfriends.
A woman values a man who is emotionally independent of her and not clingy in any way. Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander!
Set time aside for the things that are important to you, and do them. Do not live in your partner’s pocket. Honour his/her need for space with vigilance.
Don’t: Cling to your partner, as this will just drive them away.
Do: Initiate the healthy relationship habits mentioned above, and maintain them.
© 2010 Marilyn Welch
Would you still like to meet your soulmate this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “get-acquainted” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you!
Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Coach specialising in social skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
A problem often arises with women in that they become so involved with their partners as their relationship progresses, that they often lose their emotional independence. They can often forget that they have interests of their own as they take on their partner’s interests. They often give up arrangements they have made with their female friends in order to spend time with their boyfriends. They forget their own value and importance as time goes by and put their partners on pedestals. By doing all these things, they lose their emotional independence and are no longer the independent woman their partners knew when they first met. They thus become less attractive in their partner’s eyes and he starts to lose interest. This is a very subtle, insidious process, and deadly if a woman wants to keep her relationship healthy. As he loses attraction for her and starts pulling away, she starts to pursue him which makes him want to pull still further away. He then also starts acting differently and they both wonder where their wonderful romance went to. This is a terrible, negative spiral which can be avoided by women not slipping into the bad habits I mentioned earlier in this paragraph and retaining their emotional independence and wonderful life they had before they met their boyfriends.
A woman values a man who is emotionally independent of her and not clingy in any way. Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander!
Set time aside for the things that are important to you, and do them. Do not live in your partner’s pocket. Honour his/her need for space with vigilance.
Don’t: Cling to your partner, as this will just drive them away.
Do: Initiate the healthy relationship habits mentioned above, and maintain them.
© 2010 Marilyn Welch
Would you still like to meet your soulmate this year? If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “get-acquainted” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you!
Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought after Relationship Coach specialising in social skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
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