What are singles looking for appearance-wise?

What are singles looking for appearance-wise? Remember, you never get a second chance to make a first impression! Men are very visually oriented. They will usually make up their minds within twenty seconds whether they are interested in a woman or not. They actually admit that they look at things like personality later. And 99.9% of the men all say that they do not want to meet an overweight woman! Weight is a big issue for men. For them, sexual chemistry is either there or not there. They are not like women, and most of them do not believe in giving it time. Every now and then I get a phone call from one of my female clients to say that she had a wonderful first date with x, but cannot understand why he has not contacted her again. I can see that he obviously only liked her as a friend, and that the sexual chemistry was not there for him. In a case like this, the woman must realise that men are different, love them for it, and move on. She may well be mistaken if she thinks that with time he will develop sexual chemistry for her. In practice this seldom happens. “Elke pot het ‘n deksel”, and there are enough other people out there for you to meet someone who finds you appealing. Most women, on the other hand, will be happy to give a man a few chances. For instance, a woman may wait to see how a man behaves in different circumstances or how he treats her before she finally makes up her mind. She will often accept it if a man is bald or if he has a bit of a tummy. Of importance to a woman, is that a man is kind and that he makes her laugh. If he has good manners and treats her well, that is a distinct plus. If you want to meet someone nice, you yourself must be marketable. Start with your appearance. A man wants to meet a FEMININE woman. A surprising amount of men look at FEET! Two things that put women off are men with huge stomachs and men who drink too much. Now and then I interview a man with a big stomach who wants to meet a petite woman! And he doesn’t realise that a petite woman would not want to meet him! Your appearance can be likened to your gift-wrapping, or the frosting on the cake. It can make all the difference between someone stopping to take a closer look or simply passing you by. © 2008, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, one out of every three people who joined Perfect Strangers, met someone special! Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!

Relax whilst waiting for your dream partner

Today I want to focus on being relaxed about meeting your soulmate. So many times we are in a hurry and want it to have happened yesterday, but in practicality, this is not how life works. The universe is never in a hurry, and if we want to work with it, we would be wise to be patient. The universe unfolds, so they say, and that is a very gentle way of putting it. The universe is weaving an intricate tapestry of our lives intertwined with the lives of others, and its timing is exquisite. If you will just wait patiently, all the time working on yourself and knowing that the universe will deliver your soulmate to you, that person is sure to turn up at just the right time. Fruit is best when it is ripe and almost falling off the tree. If you try to push and rush something, it will not be of the best. Never be hasty. That is just the time when you might have poor judgement and make mistakes. Who of us has not burnt their fingers by being in a hurry? We all have tales to tell. Hasty people are bad shoppers! They don’t examine the goods thoroughly before they buy and often end up being dissatisfied with their purchases. Beware if your partner is in a hurry. What are their motives? Lust? Monetary greed? A ticking clock? If a person cannot even enjoy his/her own company, what kind of company will they be for you? These are all things to consider when approaching a relationship. Happiness is like a butterfly. When you pursue it, it is usually always just beyond your reach, but if you just relax, somehow, somewhere, it may alight upon your shoulder. It is just like this when you are seeking a soulmate. When you pursue a partner, they often flee. It is better to let a good romance and friendship develop slowly and sedately. We all at some time or other get caught up in a heady romance where things happen quickly, but how often does something like that last? “Elke pot het ‘n deksel”, the saying goes, and everything comes to he who waits. Have your dreams, but remember that patience and timing are crucial. Usually if we wait, what we want often lands in our lap, and then it is just perfect! © 2008, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, one out of every three people who joined Perfect Strangers, met someone special! Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!

How to end a relationship and learn from it

Some time ago, a young lady phoned me to say she wanted very much to join Perfect Strangers. Her fiancée had just left her for another woman and she was devastated, to say the least. I could hear how distraught she was and she kept saying “Marilyn, what must I do?” Immediately red lights started going off in my mind. This woman was not in any state to start another relationship. She was not even ready to start dating again. Of course, she could not see it. What must one do in such a situation? One must always try to end a relationship in such a manner, that you are still on good terms with the other party. This is not always possible, but it augurs well for the next relationship. Next, one must take stock of one’s situation, take a step back and withdraw temporarily from the dating scene. Now is the time to search your heart and see if there are any unresolved issues you can work on (anger, jealousy, resentment etc.). Now is also the time to realise that the relationship was not actually a failure, even though it ended. It is not a failure, because you learned something from it, even if all you learned is how to do it differently next time. THERE ARE NO FAILED RELATIONSHIPS. All relationships are learning processes. You had your good times and your bad times. You enjoyed the good times and learned to love, and you must make sure that the lessons of the bad times sink in and stand you in good stead in all future relationships in that you do not repeat them. Do NOT, on any account feel that YOU are a failure. You have learned a lesson, albeit a painful one, and therefore, you are actually a WINNER, and you will do better next time. If you date or become involved too soon after a relationship has ended, you will take all your unfinished business to the next relationship and just repeat your experience, albeit in a slightly different way. Take this time to enjoy your own company, treat yourself and strengthen ties with family and friends. With time you will feel stronger and more relaxed about dating again. © 2008, 2013 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, one out of every three people who joined Perfect Strangers, met someone special! Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!