As a professional dating service owner and relationship coach specialising in social skills, many people have told me what they are looking for in a romantic partner. One of the qualities stands out above the rest: people are looking for a partner with integrity.
We all want someone who will deal honestly with us, someone whom we can trust. We need to make sure we ourselves are also just such a person. What does it mean to have integrity in a relationship?
It’s actually very simple and it’s also a matter of developing good habits. A good place to start is to be an absolutely reliable person yourself. When you say you are going to do something, do it. Don’t delay or not do it. Don’t lie to people. They will find you out and it will just bounce back on you. When someone leaves a message for you on your phone, return the call. If you make an appointment with someone, keep it. If you can’t for some reason, let the other person know in good time. It’s just common courtesy. Be a faithful and loyal friend. Don’t gossip about others.
As you develop these habits, people will start realising you are consistently straight down the line and they will start feeling safe with you. This is a springboard into developing worthwhile relationships. As you become this kind of person, you will like yourself more and more and the universe will open up for you. You will most probably find you become a more reliable worker in your chosen profession as well, and people will start looking up to you. Doors will open for you in every sphere if you just make the choice. Go out and do it now.
© 2010 Marilyn Welch
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you can find your soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Fidelity in a relationship
In the course of my work as a professional dating service owner and relationship coach, people tell me very interesting stories.
Take the case of Ingrid*, a client I coached a year ago. She told me she had been in what she thought was an idyllic relationship, only to find that her partner had cheated on her. When she first realised what was going on, she was very upset and indignant. Then she thought back on a time when she had had an affair with a married man, never dreaming what hurt she was doing to his wife. Now the chickens had come home to roost.
What goes around comes around. Before we embark on any suspect behaviour, we need to put ourselves in the shoes of all parties concerned and know that sooner or later there will be repercussions, because we only get what we deserve. I have seen in my own family where an injustice was done that it took 20 years for the wheel to turn, but turn it eventually did. Newton’s Third Law states that to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. This law holds true not only in the physical domain but in the emotional and spiritual spheres too.
These days it is very easy to be unfaithful to one’s partner. Think twice before you do it, because the person it will eventually hurt will be you.
© 2010 Marilyn Welch
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za
* Name has been changed.
Take the case of Ingrid*, a client I coached a year ago. She told me she had been in what she thought was an idyllic relationship, only to find that her partner had cheated on her. When she first realised what was going on, she was very upset and indignant. Then she thought back on a time when she had had an affair with a married man, never dreaming what hurt she was doing to his wife. Now the chickens had come home to roost.
What goes around comes around. Before we embark on any suspect behaviour, we need to put ourselves in the shoes of all parties concerned and know that sooner or later there will be repercussions, because we only get what we deserve. I have seen in my own family where an injustice was done that it took 20 years for the wheel to turn, but turn it eventually did. Newton’s Third Law states that to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. This law holds true not only in the physical domain but in the emotional and spiritual spheres too.
These days it is very easy to be unfaithful to one’s partner. Think twice before you do it, because the person it will eventually hurt will be you.
© 2010 Marilyn Welch
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za
* Name has been changed.
Monday, July 12, 2010
The List
Something we are all told to do when we are looking for a partner is to write down a list of all the qualities we want this person to have. I have a slightly different take on this, which you can read about below:
For some of us it can be quite a long list, but I would urge you to narrow down this list to no more than 10 MUST HAVES.
When this is done, in the same vein make a list of all the things you cannot stand in a partner, and also narrow this down to no more than 10 CAN’T STANDS.
Now comes the interesting part:
Take your MUST HAVE shortlist, and list the qualities on this list which you yourself have! Most people admit that they themselves have only have three or four of the qualities they want in a partner …
In all fairness, we cannot expect something of another person that we do not or cannot deliver ourselves.
Now, take your CAN’T STAND shortlist, think carefully, and see if you can identify any of these traits in yourself! The world reflects us to ourselves, and if someone irritates us in some way, we often have that annoying characteristic lurking in our inner selves … It is important to be scrupulously honest with yourself.
According to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like. The Universe may be trying to teach you something here.
As you can see, to be the kind of person who can attract the soulmate of their dreams, we have some work to do!
Let’s go ahead now and work on ourselves so that we can be happy, emotionally independent people who can be a tonic to our ideal partners.
© 2010 Marilyn Welch
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
For some of us it can be quite a long list, but I would urge you to narrow down this list to no more than 10 MUST HAVES.
When this is done, in the same vein make a list of all the things you cannot stand in a partner, and also narrow this down to no more than 10 CAN’T STANDS.
Now comes the interesting part:
Take your MUST HAVE shortlist, and list the qualities on this list which you yourself have! Most people admit that they themselves have only have three or four of the qualities they want in a partner …
In all fairness, we cannot expect something of another person that we do not or cannot deliver ourselves.
Now, take your CAN’T STAND shortlist, think carefully, and see if you can identify any of these traits in yourself! The world reflects us to ourselves, and if someone irritates us in some way, we often have that annoying characteristic lurking in our inner selves … It is important to be scrupulously honest with yourself.
According to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like. The Universe may be trying to teach you something here.
As you can see, to be the kind of person who can attract the soulmate of their dreams, we have some work to do!
Let’s go ahead now and work on ourselves so that we can be happy, emotionally independent people who can be a tonic to our ideal partners.
© 2010 Marilyn Welch
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.
Monday, July 5, 2010
The world reflects us back to ourselves
In the course of my work (professional dating service owner and relationship coach), people are always telling me interesting stories. From what they tell me, I learn a lot about them. An example comes to mind of a client of mine, Len*. When my lady clients give me feedback about him, it is generally very positive. I myself have always found him to be pleasant and reliable. Imagine my surprise when one of my ladies, Annabelle*, told me she found him to be unreliable and that he was not always truthful!
Did Annabelle tell me the truth?
After she told me about this I sat down and thought for a while. As I thought about Annabelle, it slowly started to dawn on me. I have found in the past that Annabelle is seldom available to take calls and that when one leaves messages for her she seldom returns them. I also know that I cannot depend on her when I ask her to do something for me. She herself is unreliable and tends to bend the truth at times. Therefore she is eliciting this kind of response in the men that she dates! Annabelle perceives what she told me as the truth. It is her truth. It is not the truth of the majority of people who know Len. The Law of Attraction always holds true. Like a magnet attracts iron filings, so we attract people who demonstrate the same qualities we do.
We should never ask of people what we are not prepared to give ourselves. So let’s all work on ourselves to be the very best we can be. That way, we are more likely to attract the partner of our dreams.
© 2010 Marilyn Welch
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the Coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za
* Names have been changed.
Did Annabelle tell me the truth?
After she told me about this I sat down and thought for a while. As I thought about Annabelle, it slowly started to dawn on me. I have found in the past that Annabelle is seldom available to take calls and that when one leaves messages for her she seldom returns them. I also know that I cannot depend on her when I ask her to do something for me. She herself is unreliable and tends to bend the truth at times. Therefore she is eliciting this kind of response in the men that she dates! Annabelle perceives what she told me as the truth. It is her truth. It is not the truth of the majority of people who know Len. The Law of Attraction always holds true. Like a magnet attracts iron filings, so we attract people who demonstrate the same qualities we do.
We should never ask of people what we are not prepared to give ourselves. So let’s all work on ourselves to be the very best we can be. That way, we are more likely to attract the partner of our dreams.
© 2010 Marilyn Welch
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Visit the Coaching section of my website for practical, no-nonsense dating and relationship advice.
You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za
* Names have been changed.
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