Don't create baggage as you go along

What does the word “baggage” mean to you? We all want a partner who does not have baggage. We ourselves try not to have too much baggage. But there are plenty of us who actually create baggage as we go along in our relationship, as if there wasn’t enough of it already! We are all familiar with control dramas. We see them often in the movies and on TV. Is this what we should be modelling our lives on? This is the kind of behaviour that definitely creates baggage, baggage that need not have been there. People who create baggage usually do not think before they act. They act on impulses which they often live to regret. When we act on an impulse, we usually do not consider our partner’s frame of reference and where they are coming from. It is all about our own egos, what WE want and how WE see life. We are then acting from a limited perspective. When our partner makes us angry, we should count to ten and then count our words. What is it that is making us angry? Is it something that is threatening our ego? Are we reacting with an impoverished spirit and not an abundance mentality? Are we feeling threatened? Do we want to take revenge on our partner for an imagined wrong that we feel has been done to us? Good communication can do a lot to iron out misunderstandings that can lead to this kind of nonsense. Are we riddled with jealousy? Are we afraid to give our partners freedom because we are afraid to lose them? Deep-seated insecurities can lead to this kind of behaviour, which does not bode well for any relationship. So what can we do to avoid creating baggage? First and foremost it is very important to be grateful for all the good we have in our lives and in our relationship. This helps create the abundance mentality I have just mentioned. We need to focus on good, wholesome things and not give negativity a chance to take root. We need to BE the type of partner we want in our lives. All this does not come in an instant, but may take many years of continual work on ourselves. Sometimes it is even necessary to go for counselling. But the rewards are there, and it is definitely worth all the time and effort. Don’t: Get caught in the groove of continual control dramas. Do: Read “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle and broaden your perspective on life. © 2010, 2014 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, 49% of the clients who joined Perfect Strangers met someone special, many within a very few short months! Of these, 71% remain in their committed relationships. Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!