Seek time-honoured values in your relationship

We would all like to ultimately be in a relationship that has stood the test of time, but to reach that much sought-after destination, we need to seek time-honoured values in our relationship. Integrity and trust are two very important factors in a relationship. It is very important that both parties should keep their word when dealing with their partner (and, indeed, in all of life!). We all want someone who is consistent, congruent, and reliable. No relationship built on a foundation of lies will last. We need to make honesty a habit, so that our partner will know where we stand and also where they stand. We want someone who will trust us enough to give us freedom and space, yet who can also draw us near and hold us close. This foundation of trust protects a relationship. You have then built your relationship on a solid pillar and you know you can count on it. Respect and consideration shown to your partner on a continual, long-term basis will endear you to him/her. This type of treatment from one’s partner gives a chance for real love to grow. We need to cultivate a healthy self-respect first before we can happily afford others the same respect. You may sometimes perceive your partner to be making wrong choices, but it is important to still respect them, and their choices, however hard this may be. Consideration for one’s partner’s happiness and wellbeing is also very important in a relationship. If we are selfish and always thinking of how we can please ourselves in our relationship, it will bring us short term gratification only. We are then always wanting more and more, and are never satisfied. This type of behaviour leads to a downward spiral in your relationship, and should be avoided. Loyalty and unconditional love are also important. We all want to know that our partner is faithful to us, no matter what. Our first loyalty should be to our partner, and if we are married, this is even more important. It is important that we are always supportive towards our partner, especially in company. It is very destructive to criticize one’s partner in the company of others, even if you perceive them to be wrong about something. Those matters should be sorted out in private. It is also important to us that our partner loves us unconditionally. None of us can be perfect, and we need to know we are accepted for who we are, despite of our shortcomings. We need to know that even if our behaviour is not always of the best, that we have a safe haven where our partner will love us regardless. We want this for ourselves, so we must afford it to our partners. Treat your partner in the same way as you would like to be treated. Take that one step further and treat them the way they would like to be treated. Remember, you will get back what you put into a relationship and much more, if you treat your partner well. Don’t: Look for short term gratification in your relationship at the expense of your partner. Do: Do unto your partner as you would have done unto you! © 2010, 2014 Marilyn Welch. Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, 49% of the clients who joined Perfect Strangers met someone special, many within a very few short months! Of these, 71% remain in their committed relationships. Visit our website to meet a variety of quality partners amongst whom you may find your soulmate!