A year ago I coached a client called Helen through her divorce. When I first spoke to her and assessed her situation, it was clear to me that she spent all her time and energy focusing on her impending divorce, and that the rest of her life was simply passing her by.
At the time she was bitterly unhappy and life had indeed turned sour. She had seen a psychologist and counsellors from her church, but there just seemed to be no solutions. She thought that if she started meeting some decent men, that that might help her to feel happier. So she turned to me for some dating and relationship advice, with a view to joining my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, when her divorce was through.
It was obvious to me that she needed to get past her problems and gain some inner peace before she could attract anybody remotely like what she had in mind. I asked her what good things there were in her life. Surprisingly enough she could quickly mention at least five positive things about her life (her good health, her well-paying career, her nice home, her children and the relationship she had with her parents). Somehow, amidst all her problems, she had forgotten these wonderful aspects of her life. I told her to take 30 minutes each day and to focus on being grateful for these things (What you focus on you get more of). During these 30 minutes she was to shut out all thoughts of her soon-to-be ex husband and their divorce situation. When we discussed this, she immediately perked up and had something to look forward to each day.
Her feedback a week later was that she now realised she had been giving a disproportionate amount of time and energy to her problems, and not enough time to the things that made her happy. She realised that she had been responsible for a lot of her own misery by doing this. As time went by, the intensity of her emotions about the divorce diminished, and she was also able to incorporate in her daily 30 minutes some pleasant dreams about the kind of men she would like to meet in the future.
It is now a year later and two months ago she joined my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers. Because her focus has dramatically shifted since a year ago, she is giving out a different vibe, attracting good things into her life, and she is a catch for any man. She is enjoying the experience of meeting new people and the men on my books like her immensely. By a simple change in her focus, she turned her life around!
Visit my website to meet a variety of qualify partners from whom you can choose a soulmate! Visit the coaching page of my website for some sound dating and relationship advice.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Gratitude gets you places
The story of Anne and Louise (told in greater detail in the last two blogs) is certainly food for thought. Anne had a positive, balanced perspective. Louise was negative and always finding fault. Anne took the trouble to thank me after each introduction I arranged for her, and gave constructive feedback, which assisted and inspired me to find even better suited partners for her as time went by. Louise was never satisfied, no matter how much trouble I went to for her.
Anne's approach to me always inspired me to do all I possibly could to introduce her to suitable parners. She expected the best from me and thoroughly enjoyed meeting my high profile, quality men. You always get more of what you are grateful for and the universe eventually rewarded Anne with the man of her dreams. They are now happily engaged and looking forward to a bright future together.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
If you have issues about successful dating and forming healthy romantic relationships, I am happy to discuss them with you until they are resolved.
Anne's approach to me always inspired me to do all I possibly could to introduce her to suitable parners. She expected the best from me and thoroughly enjoyed meeting my high profile, quality men. You always get more of what you are grateful for and the universe eventually rewarded Anne with the man of her dreams. They are now happily engaged and looking forward to a bright future together.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
If you have issues about successful dating and forming healthy romantic relationships, I am happy to discuss them with you until they are resolved.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
If you spot it you've got it!
In my last blog entry I told the story of my two clients, Anne and Louise. Anne simply loved the men I introduced to her and Louise could only find fault with them. Ironically, I introduced them to exactly the same men! So what was the problem? Were the men to blame or was Louise the problem?
It just so happens that we see people not as they are, but as we are. We notice things in others that we identify with, things that are part of our own makeup. If there are things in ourselves that we are not happy with, we notice them in others, and these qualities irritate us speechless. People reflect back to us the things we don't like in ourselves and we think that they are at fault and not us!
The universe arranges situations in such a way that we are constantly given opportunities to learn and grow as people. The people we find fault with are often our best teachers! They give us the opportunities to change for the better and transcend ourselves, if we so choose.
I have lost contact with Louise, but I know that Anne has now met the man of her dreams. They are happily engaged and excited about their future. When you see the best in life and people, the universe is eager to give you back what you deserve.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
It just so happens that we see people not as they are, but as we are. We notice things in others that we identify with, things that are part of our own makeup. If there are things in ourselves that we are not happy with, we notice them in others, and these qualities irritate us speechless. People reflect back to us the things we don't like in ourselves and we think that they are at fault and not us!
The universe arranges situations in such a way that we are constantly given opportunities to learn and grow as people. The people we find fault with are often our best teachers! They give us the opportunities to change for the better and transcend ourselves, if we so choose.
I have lost contact with Louise, but I know that Anne has now met the man of her dreams. They are happily engaged and excited about their future. When you see the best in life and people, the universe is eager to give you back what you deserve.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Expect the Best
Late one Friday afternoon, as I was preparing for what was going to be a wonderful weekend, the phone rang and it was Louise, one of my clients. I had hardly greeted her when she went into a tirade about the last person I had introduced her to. She hauled me over the coals and complained loud and long about all the people on my books.
Reeling from the shock, I felt stunned, because another client of mine, Anne, who had a similar profile (both were early 40's, very attractive and CEO's of their respective companies), had met exactly the same people (also high-profile professionals and successful entrepreneurs), and had enjoyed herself immensely in the process. Anne had also always taken the time to thank me for introducing her to such nice men and they had liked her a lot as well.
They had met exactly the same people, but how Louise and Anne saw them differed like night and day. Anne was always prepared to believe the best of people and they never disappointed her. Louise was looking for faults and had a critical spirit, so people never lived up to her expectations. I have since lost contact with Louise and doubt if she has found happiness. Anne is today engaged to Fred, who is the man of her dreams, and is excited about building a future with him.
The above true stories have brought home to me that our attitude towards life and people is of paramount importance. We reap what we sow and like a magnet, we attract people to ourselves who have similar mindsets. If we work on ourselves to be the best we can be, we can confidently expect to make friends with the best kind of people. I have found that people who place their full trust in me as a matchmaker invariably go on to meet the partner of their dreams.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Reeling from the shock, I felt stunned, because another client of mine, Anne, who had a similar profile (both were early 40's, very attractive and CEO's of their respective companies), had met exactly the same people (also high-profile professionals and successful entrepreneurs), and had enjoyed herself immensely in the process. Anne had also always taken the time to thank me for introducing her to such nice men and they had liked her a lot as well.
They had met exactly the same people, but how Louise and Anne saw them differed like night and day. Anne was always prepared to believe the best of people and they never disappointed her. Louise was looking for faults and had a critical spirit, so people never lived up to her expectations. I have since lost contact with Louise and doubt if she has found happiness. Anne is today engaged to Fred, who is the man of her dreams, and is excited about building a future with him.
The above true stories have brought home to me that our attitude towards life and people is of paramount importance. We reap what we sow and like a magnet, we attract people to ourselves who have similar mindsets. If we work on ourselves to be the best we can be, we can confidently expect to make friends with the best kind of people. I have found that people who place their full trust in me as a matchmaker invariably go on to meet the partner of their dreams.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Photos can be misleading
Our appearance is always of paramount importance as we never get a second chance to make a first impression. We are not always available in person for people to sum us up, so these days we rely a lot on photos. They abound on internet sites and we make our decisions whether or not to make contact with people based on their photos.
In my own profession as a romance expert, I personally find that photos can be very misleading. A specific incident comes to mind: One of the men on my books was about to meet one of my ladies, but he insisted on seeing a photo of her first. He asked her to email it to him, which she did. He then phoned me and was very worried about meeting her as he did not like her face and was most put off. I know this lady in question very well. She is very attractive and in my opinion it was a very nice photo of her. I almost had to beg him to meet her. I knew it was a good match in all ways, including the kind of looks he had requested. He most reluctantly met her. That evening he phoned me and said that her photo did not do her justice, that she was absolutely stunning and that they suited each other very well. She also gave me feedback that she was very impressed and that she liked him very much.
As we get to know people, they reveal more and more about themselves, and it is like peeling the skin off an onion, layer by layer. It is only when we start reaching the layers close to the core that we can really know whether this person is suited to us or not. Yes, personal appearance is important, but it reveals even less than the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. When we see a photo, we cannot hear that person, we have no idea of the kind of vibes they are sending out, and we make a judgement based on an extremely flimsy piece of evidence.
Photos give us a first impression, but we should always bear in mind that there is much more to a person than just their photo.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
In my own profession as a romance expert, I personally find that photos can be very misleading. A specific incident comes to mind: One of the men on my books was about to meet one of my ladies, but he insisted on seeing a photo of her first. He asked her to email it to him, which she did. He then phoned me and was very worried about meeting her as he did not like her face and was most put off. I know this lady in question very well. She is very attractive and in my opinion it was a very nice photo of her. I almost had to beg him to meet her. I knew it was a good match in all ways, including the kind of looks he had requested. He most reluctantly met her. That evening he phoned me and said that her photo did not do her justice, that she was absolutely stunning and that they suited each other very well. She also gave me feedback that she was very impressed and that she liked him very much.
As we get to know people, they reveal more and more about themselves, and it is like peeling the skin off an onion, layer by layer. It is only when we start reaching the layers close to the core that we can really know whether this person is suited to us or not. Yes, personal appearance is important, but it reveals even less than the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. When we see a photo, we cannot hear that person, we have no idea of the kind of vibes they are sending out, and we make a judgement based on an extremely flimsy piece of evidence.
Photos give us a first impression, but we should always bear in mind that there is much more to a person than just their photo.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Recognise Your Soulmate
Most of us tend to think that when we meet our soulmate, a siren is going to sound and fireworks will fill the sky! Most of the time, however, this does not happen. A soulmate is someone we want to spend the rest of our lives with and one has to be very careful about choosing this person.
Appearance is a big factor when we initially meet, but time reveals who the real person is, and this is the person we must make up our minds about. As time goes by, you build up a shared history of good times and bad. You get into habits and routines and slowly but surely life has a way of pointing you in the direction which is right for you.
It is important to live in the present with this person and enjoy each moment. It is not a good idea to be results oriented. Do not try to push situations, but just relax and let the universe gradually lead you to where you are meant to be.
I wish you luck in finding this very special person!
Visit my website to enlarge your circle of friends and find your soulmate!
Appearance is a big factor when we initially meet, but time reveals who the real person is, and this is the person we must make up our minds about. As time goes by, you build up a shared history of good times and bad. You get into habits and routines and slowly but surely life has a way of pointing you in the direction which is right for you.
It is important to live in the present with this person and enjoy each moment. It is not a good idea to be results oriented. Do not try to push situations, but just relax and let the universe gradually lead you to where you are meant to be.
I wish you luck in finding this very special person!
Visit my website to enlarge your circle of friends and find your soulmate!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
The Role of Predictability in a Relationship
The word "predictable" carries with it a slightly negative connotation. We tend to think of predictable people as slightly boring and we do not want others to think they have completely sussed us out.
It is, however, important to be predictable to some degree in our romantic relationship. For example, we all want our partner to be reliable, punctual, honest, dependable, etc., and these are all qualities we would do well to cultivate in ourselves.
However, to keep a relationship interesting and keep our partner enthralled, we have to sometimes do or say the unexpected thing. Romance thrives on excitement and novelty, and we should bring this to our relationship as much as we can.
The trick is to keep a balance when it comes to being predictable, and this we can all do.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
It is, however, important to be predictable to some degree in our romantic relationship. For example, we all want our partner to be reliable, punctual, honest, dependable, etc., and these are all qualities we would do well to cultivate in ourselves.
However, to keep a relationship interesting and keep our partner enthralled, we have to sometimes do or say the unexpected thing. Romance thrives on excitement and novelty, and we should bring this to our relationship as much as we can.
The trick is to keep a balance when it comes to being predictable, and this we can all do.
Visit my website to meet a variety of quality partners from whom you can choose a soulmate!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
