The world reflects us back to ourselves

In the course of my work (professional dating service owner and relationship mentor), people are always telling me interesting stories. From what they tell me, I learn a lot about them. An example comes to mind of a client of mine, Len*. When my lady clients give me feedback about him, it is generally very positive. I myself have always found him to be pleasant and reliable. Imagine my surprise when one of my ladies, Annabelle*, told me she found him to be unreliable and that he was not always truthful! Did Annabelle tell me the truth? After she told me about this I sat down and thought for a while. As I thought about Annabelle, it slowly started to dawn on me. I have found in the past that Annabelle is seldom available to take calls and that when one leaves messages for her she seldom returns them. I also know that I cannot depend on her when I ask her to do something for me. She herself is unreliable and tends to bend the truth at times. Therefore she is eliciting this kind of response in the men that she dates! Annabelle perceives what she told me as the truth. It is her truth. It is not the truth of the majority of people who know Len. The Law of Attraction always holds true. Like a magnet attracts iron filings, so we attract people who demonstrate the same qualities we do. We should never ask of people what we are not prepared to give ourselves. So let’s all work on ourselves to be the very best we can be. That way, we are more likely to attract the partner of our dreams. *Names have been changed. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

The world mirrors us

Being the owner of my professional dating service, Perfect Strangers, and having given out plenty of dating and relationship advice over the years, I am in the privileged position where I am told many interesting stories. Some time back, a client of mine, Lisa*, brought an important point home to me by telling me her story. This is what she told me in summary: Lisa came out of a very toxic home. Her father and her brothers were very poor examples of how a man should treat a woman, and she grew up feeling fearful of men. This transmigrated to her relationships with boyfriends as she grew up, and she always chose the wrong men. The men experienced her as unfriendly and cold, because these were the energies she was giving out. They mirrored her vibrations and treated her badly. As the years went by and she became older, she read many books to help her cope with life and relationships in general. She even went for therapy at different stages of her life. Gradually something inside her started to thaw. She started choosing men she knew would treat her well instead of the playboys who messed her around. The good treatment started melting her heart and by and by she started feeling like a normal woman. Men in general started treating her more kindly and she started feeling a sincere and very real liking for them. Lisa is an attractive woman, and her new attitude started attracting men who genuinely liked women, and many of them. Previously she had fallen into the trap of erroneously thinking that there are no good men. Because her attitude had changed, she was now discovering that this is untrue. She told me that each successive boyfriend she meets treats her better than the previous one. She now has the confidence to set sensible boundaries. Men don’t take chances with her anymore. She confidently expects the best and gets it. Strangely enough, this attitude towards men has transmigrated into other areas of her live as well. She is a highly successful entrepreneur and her relationships with her clients have improved dramatically over the years. Life is treating her well these days and she has come a long way since the days when she lived in that toxic home. Over the years, the world mirrored her attitude and she attracted what she gave out. She now realises how important it is to give out good energies, because the world mirrors them back to you. *Name has been changed. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

The List

Something we are all told to do when we are looking for a partner is to write down a list of all the qualities we want this person to have. I have a slightly different take on this, which you can read about below: For some of us it can be quite a long list, but I would urge you to narrow down this list to no more than 5 MUST HAVES. When this is done, in the same vein make a list of all the things you cannot stand in a partner, and also narrow this down to no more than 5 CAN’T STANDS. Now comes the interesting part: Take your MUST HAVE shortlist, and list the qualities on this list which you yourself have! Most people admit that they themselves have only have one or two of the qualities they want in a partner … In all fairness, we cannot expect something of another person that we do not or cannot deliver ourselves. Now, take your CAN’T STAND shortlist, think carefully, and see if you can identify any of these traits in yourself! The world reflects us back to ourselves, and if someone irritates us in some way, we often have that annoying characteristic lurking in our inner selves … It is important to be scrupulously honest with yourself. According to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like. The Universe may be trying to teach you something here. As you can see, to be the kind of person who can attract the soulmate of their dreams, we have some work to do! Let’s go ahead now and work on ourselves so that we can be happy, emotionally independent people who can be a tonic to our ideal partners. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Practice makes perfect

As a professional dating service owner and dating mentor, I have noticed that people seldom want to actually date much. They often seem to want to meet their soulmate immediately without any fuss. In theory, this may sound like they are getting to the point and not wasting time, but practically speaking, it may not be such a good idea. When we first start dating, we often have a very vague idea of what we really want from a partner. By meeting lots of people, we start learning what we like and don’t like and how we will handle different situations. We get to know how the opposite sex thinks. All this stands us in very good stead when choosing a life partner. Nothing teaches us better than our own life experience, and with dating and choosing good partners, it is no different. We need to find out where we are making mistakes and how we can improve in order to be the best partner ourselves. Most of us don’t meet our soulmate early in life. Lots of us have relationships that do not work out, sometimes many of them. We should regard all of them as learning experiences. We should regard our dates as opportunities to practice the art of learning how to choose who is best for us. Practice makes perfect. Practice your way lovingly and carefully into meeting the partner of your dreams. Most of us can say that in the long run we know better as we grow older. So take heart if it takes time to meet that special partner. The dates you have now are paving the way for you to meet your very own true soulmate. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

People often misrepresent themselves

In my experience as a dating coach and professional dating service owner, I have come to the conclusion that people are often not what they seem. In most cases, people are on their best behaviour when they first meet us, and it is often only after a long time that the real person emerges. In my own case, when I first met my present husband, I thought he was very ordinary and did not give him a second thought. I met him again a year later and something told me to scratch beneath the surface. I am very glad I did just that, because he did not play all his cards when he first met me and I made the common mistake of judging a book by its cover. As time went by, I realised again and again that he has nearly all the qualities I had been looking for in a man and much more. To go to the opposite extreme, a client of mine, Paul*, told me of his experiences the other day. Six months ago he met Mandy*, and could not believe that such a gorgeous creature was interested in him. She was everything a man could dream of: beautiful, a figure to die for and very entertaining company. She was financially independent and did not have any baggage he could see at that stage. As time went by, however, the real Mandy came to light. She lied a lot, she was unreliable, she had a vicious temper and had no friends. In the beginning he was madly in love, but because of the bad treatment he received from her, he eventually fell out of love. It was quite difficult to back out of the relationship, but when he finally did it was a big relief. He says he will be much more careful in the future. If we are prepared to give people a chance and take things slowly, to a large degree we can prevent ourselves from making these types of mistakes. So let’s not judge books by their covers, but look for the inner qualities of the people we meet. First impressions can be deceiving! *Name has been changed. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

Mixed messages get you nowhere

In my experience as a dating mentor and professional dating service owner, I often come across people who give out mixed messages. A few years ago I mentored a lady called Tessa*, who used to do just this. She came to me because she felt she was having no luck with her dating. On closer examination I found out that her actions contradicted her words. She claimed to be open to having a serious relationship if a suitable man came into her life. The trouble was, in the last five years she had come nowhere near to becoming serious with anyone. I found out that she had not been very open and friendly when anyone asked her for a date and that she had often cancelled a date at the last minute or simply not pitched up! This is what I call incongruent behaviour and it gets you nowhere if you want a serious, stable relationship. At first she did not see anything really wrong with her behaviour and it took quite some time for her to see that the universe only reflects back to you what you give out, and that she would have to change her behaviour before her life would change in any way. It turned out that there were deep-seated reasons for her attitude and I eventually referred her to a competent psychologist. The point is, if you really want something in life, the last thing you need to do is sabotage your attempts to get it. In the dating field, your dates will quickly pick up that something is wrong if you behave in this confused way. Sometimes this kind of behaviour can easily be changed, and it will certainly be worth your while to reflect on the Law of Attraction and how to use it. Like a magnet, what you give out comes back to you and you will eventually get what you think most about. Let’s all give out clear messages and help make our dating less complicated! *Name has been changed. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.

The importance of good maintenance

A good relationship requires steadfast maintenance A friend of mine, Sylvia*, has a very good relationship with her husband, Ronald*. But she tells me that this was not always the case. Years ago they had fallen into the trap of taking each other for granted. Luckily when they saw things were not going so well, they went for counselling and put matters right. Within a couple of months things had greatly improved. Sylvia says it was actually very simple. They had gotten into bad habits and had started neglecting each other. In a nutshell, it was a case of finding out what had always been good and MAINTAINING and even IMPROVING on that magic. A man will never dream of running his prize motorcar without always checking it has water, oil and petrol. He will send it for regular services and make sure it is always sparkling clean. A good gardener will lavish attention on his garden to make sure it always stays beautiful. He will regularly water and fertilise his plants and lawn. He will make sure everything is trimmed and pruned at the right time. So it is with our relationships. If we are lucky enough to have someone special in our lives, we need to keep the romance alive. We need to nurture and protect this relationship. We need to be unselfish and put the other person first. I was lucky enough to have had a happy marriage to my second husband, Bryan. If something was wrong, we immediately put it right. We worked hard at making sure that the other party always felt appreciated. When he passed away we were on very good terms and I have no regrets. We need to live in the present moment and live as if each day were our very last. Today I am very happily married to my third husband, Richard. We do not take our happiness for granted, and nurture and cherish it every day. These are age-old principles that have stood the test of time. They are definitely doable. So find out what is good in your relationship, build on that and MAINTAIN AND EVEN IMPROVE on it. Pull out the weeds that are choking it to death and look after your relationship as if it were gold. What we give out comes back to us, so it is in our own best interests. *Names have been changed. © 2010, 2012 Marilyn Welch. Would you love to meet your soulmate soon? A phenomenal one out of every three people who joins Perfect Strangers meets someone special within twelve months! If you have read through my website thoroughly and feel that you would like to work with me, contact me for a FREE, no-obligation “Find Your Soulmate” session. We can then see what Perfect Strangers can do for you and get you started to meet the partner of your dreams. I am looking forward to hearing from you! Would you like to use this article? You may if you include the following paragraph with the article: Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Professional Introduction Service and a sought-after Relationship Mentor specialising in dating skills. You can read more of her articles at www.perfectstrangersdating.blogspot.com and download her Free Special Report “Three Ways to Finding the Soulmate of Your Dreams” by going to her website, www.perfectstrangers.co.za and sending her your details. You are welcome to email Marilyn Welch at info@perfectstrangers.co.za.